Seeds of Growth || By Rick Garcia, Certified Sex/Cannabis Coach, LMT
Recently, my partner and I were considering moving to a new neighborhood. There were, of course, things we’d miss about the house we’d called home for the past five years, but the most bittersweet part was leaving behind our peach tree. We planted it three years ago, and this year, for the first time, she blossomed with the most beautiful flowers that preceded the juiciest peaches. Sadly, the peaches ripened just as we left for vacation, so we invited friends, family, and neighbors to enjoy them while we were away, resolving to savor the next season’s fruit ourselves. But upon our return, we began seriously considering moving. I remarked to my partner that it was poetic—we’d planted, watered, and tended this tree, only for its beautiful fruit to be enjoyed by others.
Being me, I couldn’t help but connect this experience to life, relationships, and, yes—sex. It got me thinking about how the human experience mirrors a garden. So let’s lean into it.
In life, we’re constantly planting seeds. With every choice, connection, and intimate encounter, seeds are sown—some we nurture for ourselves and others that grow unexpectedly, touching lives beyond our own. Not every seed sprouts in our presence or in ways we imagine, but each has a purpose, feeding the ecosystem of our lives and those around us.
Sexuality, as a form of intimacy, is also a way we plant seeds. Through these intimate acts, we can sow trust, vulnerability, passion, and even healing. Sometimes, the physical and emotional openness we share leaves seeds of connection and self-discovery, even if the relationship doesn’t last.
The seeds we plant may not always blossom in our lifetime. Especially in relationships, the love, intimacy, or even tough lessons we leave with someone can grow beyond the immediate. Every intimate experience has the potential to be transformative. A moment of vulnerability or a shared revelation can become the spark of growth in a partner’s future. At other times, an unfulfilled relationship or a painful breakup can push us down a path of self-discovery, ultimately leading us to become more whole.
We’re not just the gardeners; we’re also seeds ourselves. Every relationship we experience—including the painful or challenging ones—plants seeds within us. Perhaps you had a “bad” partner, or maybe you were the one who hurt someone else. Rather than seeing these moments as purely negative, consider how they contribute to who we are today. Often, the seeds of sexuality, love, and intimacy become sources of deep personal insight. My own journey, in many ways, has been born out of a need for healing from past relationships. These were seeds that caused me pain, pain I didn’t ask for. But with time and distance, I can see how those difficult experiences led me to healing and understanding, not only for myself but also for others. What would life be like if we stepped back and looked at our experiences like this? What if we saw chaos but knew that it was creating harmony on another level?
When we’re hurt, especially in intimate relationships, we become more mindful of what we need and deserve, developing resilience and self-awareness. Sometimes, being a “bad” partner—or recognizing that we weren’t the partner someone else needed—prompts us to make real changes so our future relationships can thrive. Every difficult experience prepares us for deeper, more fulfilling connections.
Just like any garden, a relationship and sexual connection need rich, nurturing soil to thrive. If you’ve experienced painful seeds, feel uncertain about what you need from love or intimacy, or even feel lost in patterns that keep repeating, it may be time to tend to that “soil.” Talking with a coach or trusted guide can provide the nourishment, clarity, and tools needed for a fertile foundation, transforming past hurts into a source of strength and new growth.
Whether you’re healing from past wounds, nurturing a new relationship, or striving to understand your needs more deeply, consider reaching out for support. Plant your seeds with care, both for yourself and others. And if your garden needs a little help, know that support is just a call or message away.
About the Author: Rick Garcia (he/him) is the owner of Cannabased Coaching & Wellness. Rick started his career in the healing arts as a licensed massage therapist in 2005. Looking for a shift he transitioned to HIV prevention and has worked in sexual health for 11 years. Realizing the gap in sexual health and sexual fulfillment Rick became a certified sex coach and sexologist so that he could help people explore their ideal sexual self while remaining as safe as possible. His sex coaching services are holistic and combine elements such as talk, somatic exercises, the MEBES model, cannabis and a variety of other modalities. When his wellness center opened he decided to have another arm available for massage therapy. To learn more about Rick’s services please visit www.cannabasedcoachingandwellness.com or contact him at [email protected].
