Paradox on the Path II By Beth Hinnen, Certified Mindfulness and Meditation Teacher
There are so many ways to start on the spiritual path. For many, it might just be a sense of something missing, like a can’t-quite-put-a-finger-on-it feeling, a deep longing that can’t be articulated and yet … a person is pulled toward something that is also somewhat obtuse.
On the other hand, it could be a true dark-night-of-the-soul, gut-wrenching experience that calls into question a person’s very existence. Up is down, down is up, and the whole world is an out of control merry-go-round that seems to be spinning so fast everything is being thrown off of it only to land in … oblivion.
Enter some kind of light, some glimpse of a horizon, or an opening or easing of the heart. Perhaps someone says something that makes sense not logically but intuitively. Or perhaps a person reads a passage that resonates on a deeper level with only a soft “hmmmm,” or “aaahhhhh,” that follows.
It makes sense then, as Richard Rohr writes, “All spiritual knowledge is recognition, not cognition.” This is profound. It means, to me, that we can’t think our way into a spiritual path. Rather, we feel or sense our way in. We are called to it on a frequency we’ve never before been tuned into. And yet, we recognize it as something deep … earth-shattering … even mystical … while at the same time, making perfect sense.
Such is the beginning of the spiritual path. And because, most likely, we didn’t think about it, didn’t declare to the world “and now, I embark on the spiritual path!” (well, maybe we said that but it is highly likely it was well past the time we took the first wobbly step), instead, what probably happened is we had some kind of realization (hence, realization as a term meaning enlightenment, and indeed, it is an enlightened moment when we step on the path) that a different way of being is needed, or more so, being sought. And so we come to the first paradox. We can’t think our way out of spiritual despondency. We experience our way out of it. In some ways, we are like the baby grasping at near-by objects that are fuzzy and unknown until we find one we can hold onto.
Which may feel awkward, especially in this age where we automatically turn to “experts” on the internet to “figure out” what or where to go next. Instead, when we embark on the spiritual path we find that no one can tell us what will work for us. There are a lot of fingers pointing to moons (see my blog by that name), and even worse, said moons can end up being a lot of dead ends. Which isn’t, paradoxically, a bad thing.
A dead end, or a hard stop, forces us to turn around and pursue a more viable option. In the intellectual world, there are few if any hard stops as the mind can come up with reason upon reason to “keep going,” “just one more corner to turn,” or “put just a bit more effort in.” We can drop down some rabbit holes that are endless, and I have definitely traveled the far length of quite a few.
Which is why the paradox in spiritual practice can wake us up to the folly of the mind. Rather than the mind endlessly arguing that it is “either this … or that,” we can say “it’s … both.” Confusing? Yep. This is the premise of the koan. Such wisdom questions are meant to by-pass the logical mind to awaken spiritual curiosity. “What is the sound of one hand clapping?” is a famous one. Don’t think about how one hand can clap … that’s an intellectual exercise. Instead, just consider how if one hand is moving in space without the backstop of another hand, what would that sound be? … Yes, … silence.
In our fast-paced, technologically driven world, we often assume there is an answer for everything. And that there is only one answer. With a paradox, there can be one, two, three … a thousand, and they can even be in opposition to each other. Probably one of my most profound awakenings, realizations, was when I finally understood that being mad at someone didn’t mean I hated them, or that I had to sever my relationship with them. I could both be mad with them … and love them at the same time.
It is this ability to hold two truths simultaneously that appears to be lacking in our current social and political environments. It is as if one fact is more relevant or important than another fact, even when both are accurate. I remember reading an article about a NYC liberal who moved upstate during the pandemic and ran off the road in a snow storm. A conservative neighbor showed up in a truck and pulled the car out. The liberal had the same kind of ah-ha moment I had — that it was possible to accept help from someone with diametrically opposed political beliefs, and to see how such beliefs did not stop the conservative from being helpful.
In essence, political beliefs are just one part of the picture, not the whole. Neither had to base their actions on just one fact. Both were true. A human needed help, a human could help, and they had opposite political views. This is the very essence of seeing the whole of a person. This ability to hold the whole of our experience is for me exactly the spiritual path. Nisargadatta says it a bit differently:
Your problem is that you like one part of your dream and not another. Love all, or none of it, and stop complaining.
This is classic Buddhism. We cling to what we like, and push away what we don’t. Nisargadatta is clear: Polarization is not the answer; complaining is not the answer. Perhaps another way I would paraphrase this is — embrace all, and live fully. Of course, Pema Chodron offers another option — approach all with tenderness, and drop the judgment. Most importantly, apply this to yourself first. Love all of you, and complaining ceases.
By Beth Hinnen, Certified Mindfulness and Meditation Teacher: Beth Hinnen came to the spiritual path from the corporate world. After experiencing impermanence and greed, she left to study Yoga and has over 1,000 hours in Yoga teacher training, and ended up specializing in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, spiritual scripture that closely aligns with Buddhism. From there, she studied Zen Buddhism for over ten years, including in-person, month-long monastic retreats, until she earned certification, in January, 2023, as a Mindfulness and Meditation Teacher with Jack Kornfield and Tara Brach. Currently, Beth is a co-leader of the IMCD Council, and on the Teachers Collective, as administrator. She hosts a Meetup group called Yoga Meets Buddhism, and for the past three years, has held an online Dharma Wednesdays class that discusses the Yoga Sutras while also bringing in Buddhist teachings, along with Sufi poets, Christianity, Judaism and other spiritual paths that reinforce the words of Sri Swami Satchidananda, the founder of Integral Yoga where Beth studied. “The truth is one, the paths are many.” More information about Beth is at www.samayaco.org.
