Nervous System Care: A Simple Way to Come Back to Yourself || By Bre Smith, LPCC
The moments we need support the most are often the moments we forget what actually helps.
A big part of both my personal self-care and my clinical work with clients in my private practice, Wild Alchemy Counseling, is nervous system care. This is what I want to explore today. We all need this kind of self-care now more than ever.
Before I start, I want to clarify something that I see confusion around often. A regulated nervous system does not mean one is always calm and collected. I define a regulated nervous system as one that responds to reality. A regulated nervous system is flexible enough to move in and out of the stress response state and the rest and digest state.
I want to talk about how to check in with our nervous system state. When I teach clients and students how to check in with their nervous system, I always start with the breath and the heartbeat. Just note the data.
I like to start with my breath. First, I note how the breath is showing up. Is the breath shallow and tight in the upper chest? Is the breath hard to feel at all? Does the breath feel normal and steady?
Next, I check-in with my heartbeat. Does my heartbeat feel like it’s going to pump right out of my chest? Does my heartbeat feel fast? Does my heartbeat feel regular and steady? Can I even feel my heartbeat?
Again, this is all information to collect and note. There is no right or wrong way for your nervous system to show up. This is a way to tap into the intelligence of our body and nervous system.
No matter how your nervous system is showing up, you can do this simple exercise to ground yourself. I like to put one hand on my chest and one hand on my belly. This way I can feel my body moving with my breath. This also helps hold my attention. Next, I like to take a really big inhale through my nose (mouth is fine too). I try to fill my lungs with air as much as I can. Maybe even trying another sip of air. Then I hold for a moment or two. Finally, I exhale and try to push the air out of my lungs and mouth. Sometimes making an audible sighing noise or pushing air out of my mouth—long and slow. I like to do this three times in a row or as many times as feels helpful in that moment.
Funny enough, often when I need this the most I forget about it! I have found that the more I practice this with the everyday or smaller stresses of life the more I am able to access this when I am highly activated.
May your body lead you home to yourself.
About the Author: Bre Smith (she/they) is a mental health counselor, educator, artist, and writer with a background in psychology and community-based care. Their work centers on trauma-informed, somatic, and ecofeminist approaches to healing, with a focus on nervous system regulation, identity, and relational well-being. Through their writing, Breezy aims to demystify mental health and support more humane, accessible approaches to healing—both inside and outside the therapy room.
