Give Me a Break; Change and Transformation Can Be Tough ll By Dorothy Wallis

It has been quite a ride and sometimes as I look back on 2019, I feel like my life was swept up inside a whirligig with the continuous momentum pulling me from one relational experience to the next.  It has been a year of connecting with friends, loved ones and new people, which has been richly rewarding. There are so many dear people that I did not connect with yet have been so present in my heart. 

I remind myself that there is time for everything and how valuable it is to pause and reflect on what this year has brought.

The energy of this year invited us to deepen our relationship to self and others, which continues as we move toward unity.  Finding the balance in your own life means taking time to look inward and getting in touch with your true feelings and desires.  Tremendous healing is possible and supported through unearthing the shadow aspects that hold you back or are no longer required when you honestly look at your life and outworn patterns. 

It is important to stay grounded by actually sticking with what you are feeling instead of pushing uncomfortable or painful emotions away.

This is how you find the truth of what is going on inside of you instead of believing it lies somewhere outside of you or in another.  When you connect with your emotions and desires, you engage with your essence self. The more you access your True Self, the more you develop greater trust and acceptance of your wholeness. Trusting your own goodness expands your vision and opens possibilities especially when you purge the negative disempowering beliefs.  Insights abound and the creative juice of the universe is allowed to move freely through you. This is truly a release from bondage.   

Your practice of these principles may go smoothly and then the inevitable bumps and challenges of life erupt.  It is then when faith in your ability to face the unknown and uncertain outcome is activated.

Letting go was a theme for many this year. 

Loss may have been in the form of a health crisis, or a relationship, or career, or an aspect of your life that had given you much meaning.  Change is a constant and yet not welcomed when what had been in your life nourished you or gave you a sense of identity. Whatever had been in your life before offered you something for your growth.  When the loss is seen with the eyes of what was gained rather than all that is lost, there is a profound sense of acceptance. It is then that integration can occur and the ability to cherish what was and to be able to move into what life is now offering.

There is a longing in the consciousness of humanity to explore deeper levels of intimacy within the self and through others.  What catalyzes this inner search transpires through various situations. Perhaps a relationship that seemed so stable suddenly found you distraught and questioning whether to stay or go.  Shallow meaningless relationships that do not spark growth or that do not support your values or integrity are not satisfying. The dissatisfaction is a motivator to look squarely at your needs and desires.  The stimulation from the frustration champions your deepest yearnings to be seen and not ignored by you.

Even though you may want a partner or friend to know what you need, the reality is for you to know what you need. 

The thrust of this energy propels you to push beyond your doubts and fear even though you struggle with trusting your inner guidance. Stepping outside the comfort of companionship even if it is no longer beneficial is not easy.  

Most often the disruption is not about your partner, friend, foe or the relationship.  It is about a change in direction. Your soul is bringing you a new experience that is necessary.  The beauty and love you received from a primary relationship has filled you and given you the treasure of knowing another and seeing the reflection of yourself through them.  Leaving behind a person that has provided comfort, security and love is devastating. Why does it have to end? Equally crushing is the loss of relationship with a part of yourself through a physical impairment or of your identity when your livelihood, career, or changes in your lifestyle occur.

So why, you ask is this happening?  How can loss of any kind be in my highest good? 

The American Tibetan Buddhist nun, Pema Chodrin, offers words of insight.  “Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us.”  This is when strength and resilience unfold from within. In the heart of you is this indisputable essence of fortitude and inner security.  The inner security you are searching for is not outside of you or found in another person, it is eternally a part of your essential nature.

The disruptions in your life bring you closer and closer to the realization of who you really are.  By befriending yourself you engage the small moments of life with love and devotion. Each moment becomes a precious albeit fleeting experience.  Through thick and thin you learn how to be compassionate with yourself.  

Rapid change is happening and you cannot avoid it.  Transition is a constant pattern. You may change and fear it as well.  Look back at this year and the one before it. How have you weathered the changes in your life?   Change is not always smooth and yet, here you are. You’ve got this. Each time you stay with the hurt, anger, sadness, and shakiness you get better at being with it.  Give yourself credit and Give yourself a break.

Dorothy Wallis is a former intern at People House in private practice with an M.A. in Marriage and Family Therapy.  She is a Psychotherapist, Clinical Hypnotherapist and an International Spiritual Teacher at the forefront of the consciousness movement for over thirty years grounded in practices of meditation, family systems, relationships, and emotional growth.  Her work reflects efficacious modalities of alternative approaches to healing for individuals and couples based upon the latest research in science, human energy fields, psychology, and spirituality. 

  As a leader in the field of emotional consciousness and the connection to mind, body and spirit, her compassionate approach safely teaches you how to connect to your body, intuition and knowing to clear emotional wounds and trauma at the core.  The powerful Heartfulness protocol empowers your ability to join with your body’s innate capacity to heal through holistic Somatic, Sensory and Emotional awareness. and