Coming Home || by Catherine Dockery, MA, Conscious Aging Facilitator
“…when all is said and done, our own existence is an experiment of nature, an attempt at a new synthesis.” -Carl Jung
Coming Home
Why are we challenged with inner turmoil and desires throughout our lives?
Inner turmoil address questions of, “Who am I?” “Why am I here?” “What do I want?” “What do I want to experience?”
We might find ourselves saying, “I want to be taken seriously.” “I want some choice and greater autonomy.” “I want to show my deep care.”
In childhood, we were nurtured and trained to grow into adulthood and survive our environment. But in adulthood, this often isn’t enough to sustain us. Once grown, we are faced with leaving behind this early guidance in search of…what? If we let go of the past, we fear we will let go of our ‘first home.’ This can create terror and a sense we are floating away into outer space without a lifeline.
However, our movement into our adult life to a better life is one that must be made. It is often delayed for years, even decades. In fact, Carl Jung believed that true maturation didn’t occur until the elder years of one’s life. It takes that long to hear our voice among the many that guided our path in the early years.
It can be terrifying to commence the journey, but it is only terrifying initially and for a short moment, like the shock from jumping into cold water. After this movement out of pain, a whole host of new possibilities arise that weren’t known before.
Looking for home can feel like calling—a longing to see beyond the surface of things; to gain insights and live more fully in service to people and planet, and to help others do the same.
Jung advocated a process of coming to consciousness and greater wholeness through self-realization—a process he termed “individuation.” “How are you fulfilling your life’s task (“mission”) . . . the meaning and purpose of your existence?” he queried. “This is the question of individuation.”
Our need to form our own identity while dealing with the world’s expectations is the work of maturation. It continues for a lifetime. As we learn more, experience more, we make adjustments – but according to what internal guide? An internal guide that tells us, yes, that’s IT, or, no, that’s not IT?
“According to Jung, we each possess a Self, a vastly intelligent, unified, self-organizing entity whose overarching intelligence regulates and eternally inspires us to always go in the direction of growth toward integration, to achieve our ultimate potential,” says Bonnie Bright, PhD. When we experience a syncing up of our being with our consciousness it feels like ‘coming home to ourselves.’ Jung believed that individuation is the unfolding of the Self’s plan for wholeness.
“Our job is not to comprehend or control everything, but to learn which story we are in and which of the many things calling out in the world is calling to us,” notes Michael Meade. “Our job is to be fully alive in the life we have, to pick up the invisible thread of our own story and follow where it leads. Our job is to find the thread of our own aspiration and live it all the way to the end.”
“Humans are living stories, each imbued with an inherent message and a meaning trying to find its way into the world,” writes mythologist Michael Meade. It manifests as a sense of calling to how we experience and find how we belong in the world. Until we find that ‘home’, we can feel lost, alone, depressed, or despairing, not knowing how we make sense.
We are profoundly interconnected with each other and the world around us. Throughout time, humans created myths, dreams, fairytales, and stories in every form to discern the stories we are already living and our search for meaning. They help us tune into the possibilities of transforming our daily experiences into a new creation.
In order to be able to bring growth, we need time. Like a flower, the opening is a process that cannot be rushed. We have to learn and seek out new possibilities. The initial experience of distress is completely normal.
Don’t hurry and be easy on yourself. Gradually you will grow this new experience of living in the moment. I bow to the courage that brings people forward; it is possible, normal and creates the true mature adult.
Notes & Sources:
- Coming Home to Your Self: Depth Psychology and the Symbolic Life by Bonnie Bright, PhD, web page, Jan 12, 2020
About the author: Rev. Catherine Dockery, MA, is a People House minister and a trained facilitator in conscious aging, nonviolent communication and resonant healing of trauma. She has an MA in Public Administration and BA in Communications both from the University of Colorado at Denver. Catherine started The Center for Conscious Aging in 2015 where she conducts workshops, personal coaching and support groups for older adults helping them to understand their developmental changes and transform their lives. She has 10 years of experience in individual and group facilitation and presents on aging topics throughout Colorado. To learn more about Catherine’s services please visit www.centerforconsciousaging.org or email consciousaging1@gmail.com
