Is Forgiveness the Key to Healing? Here’s What You Need to Know II By Lora Cheadle, JD, CHt
If you’ve ever felt your world crumble—because of a broken promise, a fractured relationship, a deep disappointment, or a violation of trust—you are not alone. Life hands us heartbreak in many forms. And while the world often says “just forgive and move on,” let’s be honest: healing doesn’t happen on demand.
So… is forgiveness really the answer? Let’s unpack what forgiveness truly is—and what it’s not.
Forgiveness: Not a One-Time Thing
When deep pain strikes, forgiveness can feel impossible. Maybe you’ve heard “forgive and forget,” but what if you’re not ready? What if you never will be?
Forgiveness is not about minimizing what happened. It’s not about excusing hurtful behavior or pretending everything’s fine. And it’s definitely not about bypassing anger, grief, or rage.
Forgiveness is about you.
It’s about choosing your peace over resentment. It’s about reclaiming your energy and your story. It’s not a moment—it’s a process. One that unfolds gently, sometimes painfully, and always in layers.
Why Forgiveness is a Radical Act
Here’s the truth: forgiveness is radical.
It defies the desire for revenge. It challenges the inner critic. It calls us to courage. And ultimately, it invites us to release what no longer serves us—not for the sake of others, but for the sake of our own freedom.
When you forgive—not to erase the past, but to reclaim your future—you say:
“I will no longer be defined by what broke me.”
You Don’t Have to Forgive Right Now
There’s no timer on healing. No pressure. No perfect way.
Forgiveness may come in fragments. It may start with forgiving yourself—for trusting, for not knowing, for surviving the best you could. That counts, too.
Let it be messy. Let it be slow. Let it be real.
Steps to Begin the Forgiveness Journey
If you’re ready to begin—or even consider—forgiveness, here are a few gentle starting points:
1. Acknowledge the Hurt
Give yourself permission to feel it all: the anger, the grief, the confusion. Naming your pain is the first step to healing it.
2. Reflect Without Rushing
Ask yourself: What did I lose? What do I need to feel safe again? What might forgiveness make space for in my life?
3. Forgive Yourself First
You did your best with the tools and awareness you had at the time. Extend grace inward before you attempt to extend it outward.
4. Set Boundaries
Forgiveness doesn’t mean reconciliation. You can forgive someone and still choose not to allow them back into your life.
5. Move at Your Own Pace
This is your journey. There’s no deadline, and no one else gets to decide when—or if—your forgiveness is complete.
6. Seek Support
You don’t have to walk this path alone. Whether it’s a coach, therapist, support group, or spiritual guide, allow yourself to receive.
Forgiveness Isn’t the End—It’s the Beginning
Forgiveness isn’t about closing the door. It’s about stepping through one. One that leads to peace, wholeness, and a deeper relationship with yourself.
You don’t need to have it all figured out to begin.
You just need the willingness to keep showing up—for you.
Lora Cheadle, JD, CHt
Email: Lora@LoraCheadle.com
Lora Cheadle, JD, CHt: Lora Cheadle is a former attorney turned betrayal recovery coach, inspirational speaker, and author of FLAUNT! Drop Your Cover and Reveal Your Smart, Sexy & Spiritual Self and It’s Not Burnout; It’s Betrayal: 5 Tools to FUEL UP and Thrive. She empowers women to rebuild confidence, self-trust, and joy after betrayal—on their own terms and in their own time. Discover more at www.LoraCheadle.com.
