When Emotions Take Over: Working with Parts Instead of Fighting Them || By Annabelle Denmark, LPC
Life brings uncertainty, loss, and relational pain. When it does, our nervous systems react. Tension rises. Big feelings surface—fear, anger, loneliness, rejection. If those feelings build without support, they can push us toward extreme coping strategies: addiction, self-harm, suicidal thoughts.
For people who have experienced ongoing or repeated trauma, these emotional states can begin to “run the show.” Many clients describe feeling hijacked, as if their emotions have taken control. In my work, I don’t see these reactions as problems to eliminate. I see them as parts—inner experiences trying to communicate something important.
Parts can show up as emotions, thoughts, or body sensations. A part that feels abandoned might bring sadness, tightness in the chest, and thoughts like, “No one wants me.” These parts are not irrational. They formed for a reason, often to help us survive something painful.
I can’t change the outside world to make it safer or kinder. But I can help clients create stability inside themselves by learning how to work with their parts.
Step One: Noticing
We start by noticing what is present in a difficult moment. What emotions are here? What thoughts? What sensations in the body? Anger in the stomach. Fear in the chest. Self-criticism in the mind. The goal is not to fix anything—just to observe.
Step Two: Mapping the Parts
Often there isn’t just one reaction. There are multiple parts responding—to the situation and to each other.
“Part of me is angry I didn’t speak up. Another part is scared I’ll lose people if I do.”
Naming these parts begins to organize what felt chaotic.
Step Three: Creating Distance Without Avoidance
A key shift happens when clients learn to notice the part and also notice themselves noticing the part. This creates space. The emotion is still there, but it no longer fully takes over. In Internal Family Systems (IFS), this is called “unblending.”
We also explore how the client feels toward the part. Is there curiosity? Judgment? Fear? Even noticing a lack of curiosity tells us something. Much of the session can be spent right here—learning to stay present with what’s happening inside.
Deepening the Work
Once there is enough space and connection, we can go further. Sometimes we use EMDR to help a part shift out of a stuck state. Sometimes we continue deepening the relationship through IFS. Sometimes we work directly with body sensations through Sensorimotor Psychotherapy.
At times, body-based stabilization comes first—tracking sensations, building calm, creating safety. The priority is always the same: helping clients find order within emotional chaos and develop an ongoing, compassionate relationship with their inner world.
Over time, this changes more than just sessions. Clients begin to recognize their parts outside of therapy. Old coping patterns slowly shift. Awareness replaces reactivity. Choice replaces compulsion. Self-compassion replaces shame.
Practicing Outside of Session
Grounding exercises can help create space when emotions surge or when dissociation appears. Orienting to the room, naming what you see and feel, pressing your feet into the floor—these simple actions signal safety to the nervous system.
If it feels okay, you can gently acknowledge a part:
“I see you. You don’t have to take over.”
The goal isn’t to make feelings disappear. It’s to stay connected to yourself without being overwhelmed.
Noticing is the work. And over time, that noticing builds stability, resilience, and a more compassionate relationship with every part of you.
About the Author: Annabelle Denmark (she/they), MA, LPC is a therapist based in Lakewood, CO, They specialize in individual therapy for neurodivergent adults, they work with trauma and dissociation
You can find them at www.renegadecounseling.com
