The Importance of Kindness in a Cruel World II By Kevin Culver, LPCC
During one of the nationwide protests in June, I stumbled across a photo in the news that made me ponder the importance of kindness and compassion in our current world. The photo was of a protester holding a simple cardboard sign with the following words inscribed in sharpie, “When cruelty becomes normal, kindness looks radical.”
Has cruelty become normal in today’s society?
It is easy to look around the world and become discouraged by the wide-spread the violence and hatred being perpetuated by people in power. Our attention is endless news cycles and social media posts that highlight wars, inequalities, suffering, and dehumanization.
And when we’re bombarded by these images and taglines day in and day out, it’s easy to become numb and indifferent to the suffering of others. Cruelty seems to be the new normal – or at least, that’s what they want us to believe.
In order to cope with this new and unsettling reality, we may distract ourselves by constant busyness or by withdrawing to avoid a world that feels increasingly hostile and cold. We may notice our anxiety getting worse and our thoughts descending into a fear-fueled spiral. And in such a world, hope or optimism can feel far away.
But I don’t believe this is the full story. I don’t believe cruelty has become the new normal.
Kindness as a radical way forward
I believe that outside of the narrow lens of the news, exists a far different reality than the hellscape it tries to portray. This reality isn’t reflected in headlines or in trending posts, but is found in our communities and in small, seemingly insignificant interactions we encounter every day.
Yet, it can be difficult to even recognize this other reality, especially when we are constantly activated and on edge. It is deeply unfortunate that the news today gains attention by manipulating and distorting our fears, leading us to consume more of it and endlessly doom scroll. It makes us feel helpless and afraid. It isolates us and separates us from our communities and friendships.
Yet, these are the very things that can connect us and ground us. And it is through kindness that our friendships, communities, and connections can thrive.
But what is kindness, really? Kindness is the active and willful affirmation of the humanity of another. Kindness is the path out of fearful isolation towards meaningful connection; kindness is the light that peaks through the clouds and gives us hope, direction, and clarity.
It is the exact opposite of cruelty, which seeks to actively and willfully dehumanize and strip others of their dignity. And this is precisely why kindness is such a radically powerful antidote in today’s society – because it rehumanizes others and restores their dignity. Kindness is radical because it repels fear and restores our sense of hope, humanity, and community.
I urge you to not discredit yourself here, thinking “true kindness” is only found in courageous acts of inspiration and devotion seen by the great figures of history. Kindness can be these things, but kindness is more often found in the small, routine moments of our day – smiling at the cashier, engaging in small talk with a neighbor, making cookies for your coworkers.
Underneath kindness is the firmly rooted belief in the goodness and resilience of humanity; the belief that as much as the news and those in power try to portray humanity as evil and corrupt, there is still goodness in the people around us, regardless of what we look like or what we believe in. And when we engage in a kind act, we are communicating to the other that they value and that they are not alone.
Kindness is the radical path forward. It is the light that illuminates. And it is through a multitude of kind acts that the oppressive darkness we all feel may begin to finally dissipate.
Don’t lose hope. Be kind.
Kevin Culver, LPCC, is a professional counselor, published author, and owner of Resilient Kindness Counseling. Kevin has a MA in Mental Health Counseling and a BA in Theological Studies. With a background in spirituality, philosophy, and psychological research, Kevin provides a holistic approach to therapy that seeks to honor each client’s unique personality, worldview, and life aspirations. In his therapeutic work, he helps clients rediscover their humanity and create greater meaning in their lives, work, and relationships. He enjoys working with individuals from all backgrounds, but specializes in working with men’s issues, spirituality, and relationship issues. If you are interested in working with Kevin or learning more about his practice, please visit resilientkindness.com or email him at kevin@resilientkindness.com
