Posts tagged ‘Spirituality’

On Letting Go ll By Erin Amundson

September 26, 2018
On Letting Go
By Erin Amundson

 

  In much of the spiritual and self help world that I engage, there is an emphasis on “letting go” and non-attachment.  If we truly want to manifest something, we have to want it badly and then let go of it at the same time. 

If we’ve outgrown a job, a relationship or a habit, we must simply let go. 

When someone leaves us, when things don’t work out the way we wanted them to, we are encouraged with vigor to let go and practice the law of non-attachment. 

  While I’ve appreciated the value of this advice, and the powerful transformations I’ve experienced as a result of learning to let go, I’ve realized recently that there isn’t much of a conversation about just how painful and difficult the process of letting go can be.  I haven’t come across any mention in all of the wisdom of my favorite teachings that breaks down the challenge of letting go and the reasons we sometimes cling so tight to an aspect of our lives that is ready to die.  And yet, this concept is all around the spiritual communities.  We let go in savasanah in our yoga practice, we “let go and let god” in Alcoholics Anonymous.  We meditate to achieve a state of letting go – non-attachment.  We consciously purge our belongings to let go of old stagnant energy in our homes.  In my ultra spiritual life, letting go is such a big part of my practice that I don’t even think about it. 

  Just yesterday, I met a friend who I’m saying goodbye to as I prepare to move to Europe.  She suggested that we perform a “letting go” ritual by stating some intentions and burying some physical representations of what we’re ready to leave behind in life.  I realized that I’ve done this kind of thing a lot. 

In fact, just about every autumn, I’m drawn to align with the cycle of the season, and mimic mother nature–

in her letting go process as we both prepare for hibernation and incubation.  But this time, as we approached the ritual, I was struck by the intensity of my recent emotional experiences of letting go of my life in the United States, and specifically in the beautiful state of Colorado. 

  Instead of just “letting go”, which to me would previously mean doing a ritual and being strong in the face of my emotions, I decided to slow down and really invite the process in.  And what I found was that I had tremendous grief about many aspects of the move.  Of course, I’m thrilled to be embarking on my life long dream of living in Europe, and because of the amazing-ness of my upcoming adventure, I felt that my friends and loved ones were confused by my grief.  And then I felt confused by it. 

  Upon reflection, I realized that this time, I’m letting go of some really wonderful things in order to make room for a lot of new really wonderful things.  In the past, it always seemed that I was letting go of things I’d outgrown, or relationships that had become toxic, jobs that had become stagnant.  In the experience of letting go of what has been a beautiful part of my journey,

I realized that my grief was triggering all of the old, unprocessed grief that has built up in my lifetime of letting go. 

I never grieved leaving my family home at 18 to pursue college, and in fact, I never really allowed myself to grieve any of my other letting go processes (other than the obvious grief of the death of a loved one). 

  In feeling the pain of it all, my emotional slate feels clean enough to build a whole new foundation.  I found myself wondering how my life might be different if I’d allowed myself to grieve the letting go experiences of my past.  I certainly can’t go back and change any of that, but I can move forward allowing myself to honor my attachments, even as I know I need to let them go.  There is good reason we find ourselves attached to certain places, relationships, jobs and things even if they are not good for us.  We are either adding value to our lives, or adding knowledge and growth when we acknowledge our attachments.  In this season, if you find yourself letting go of some aspect or aspects of your life, I encourage you to spend some time in the emotion of it.  If there is pain, let the pain be felt.  When we allow all of our feelings to pass through us, we clear the space for new feelings, added creativity, and a return to the flow that feels so good.  So let go, but don’t just let go.  Let go and let grief. 

 


About the author: Erin Amundson loves helping people reconnect to their natural technology by decoding the language of dreams.  She is a healer, a depth psychologist and an entrepreneur who specializes in teaching people how to identify and remove barriers to success and make friends with their subconscious mind.  As the creator and founder of Natural Dream Technology, Erin knows that hidden beneath the surface of your conscious mind is a uniquely talented visionary, and she wants the world to benefit from your contribution.

After several fights with her own subconscious mind (and a re-occurring nightmare about skipping classes and failing), Erin finally surrendered and followed the wisdom of her natural technology to get a second graduate degree in Counseling at Regis University.  A life-long follower of dreams, Erin now began to learn the language of the subconscious as she slept.  Just as Albert Einstein, Steve Jobs and Steven Spielberg all experienced, Erin began to recognize in her dreams that her best work is to help you reclaim your connection to your own natural technology through dreams and the subconscious.  She has been teaching, facilitating and engaging in dream work with ambitious professionals ever since. 

Erin currently practices as a depth psychotherapist in Denver, Colorado and via the internet around the world.  In addition to her dream work, Erin is a certified past life regressionist, an intuitive astrologer and a lover of travel, snowboarding, deep conversations and cooking delicious food, all of which she enjoys practicing while she sleeps.

Unconscious or Subconscious: Does it Matter? || Mary Coday Edwards

Unconscious or subconscious: Does it matter?

By Rev. Mary Coday Edwards, MA.

 

Two words often bantered about with imprecision, we do well when speaking of our own spirituality to use clarity when venturing into these underground realms.

As a word person, my first stop on this journey of exploration is a dictionary (1).

First coined by French psychologist and philosopher Pierre Janet in the early 1900s, the subconscious is defined as that part of our mind that is currently not in focused awareness.

Unfortunately for the majority of us, it’s impossible to hold the bulk of what we experience with concentrated attention, and therefore it’s spirited into the subconscious, to perhaps later be retrieved.

For example, you may be hiking along a forest trail in deep conversation with a friend. Later, sitting on a sun-warmed boulder, lunching on your peanut butter sandwich, your friend remarks on those wildflowers  bedecking the wilderness floor passed by earlier, at which point your mind might recall the blue sea of columbines that at the time registered with your visual sense – but without conscious focus.

Past-learned skills also find their way into the subconscious.

In every country I’ve lived or worked, I struggled to learn the local language and/or dialect, measuring success by how accurately I could buy peanuts from the shopkeeper in the bazaar.

Grocery shopping, Kabul, Afghanistan; April, 2007

And although I’ve been back in the States for a few years, these languages still surface in my dreams. People I knew then show up, conversing in their native tongue – sometimes I have two different language conversations occurring in the same dream and while my dream self understands both parts of the dialog, my dream characters do not.

“I never know when somebody’s going to knock on the door of my own unconscious in a way that I wouldn’t have anticipated.” Anna Deavere Smith, Actress, Playwright, Professor

Said to be contributed by 18th century philosopher Friedrich Schelling, Freud took the word unconscious and divided it into the id (instincts or drives) and the superego – sometimes referred to as the conscience.  He regarded the unconscious as a storehouse of repressed socially unacceptable desires, wishes, and ideas, as well as painful memories and emotions. The key concept here is repressed, and thus not easily accessible to our day-to-day operations of living but yet exerting their influence upon our behavior.

Carl Jung retained Freud’s notion of the unconscious mind as the storehouse of repression, but added another stratum called the collective unconscious, which is a reservoir of unconscious memories that we inherited from our ancestors. From this collective unconscious arise other of Jung’s concepts, such as archetypes, anima, and animus (topics not addressed in this blog).

“I think unconscious bias is one of the hardest things to get at.” U.S. Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg

While the material stored in the subconscious can be recalled with deliberation and effort, that which sits in the murky regions of the unconscious is, generally speaking, not accessible through one’s own self or one’s efforts via the ego (2).

And ego, in today’s language milieu and simplistically speaking, is that part of our mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious. It keeps us safe from what might be deemed unacceptable to our parents, teachers, or peers. Long after it’s done its job, the ego still maintains its habit of refusing questions and killing curiosity – required steps in growth of consciousness.

Transformation and personal growth require that our unconsciously driven behaviors be brought to the light of consciousness. We learn to watch for and respond to unconscious stress signals vs. reacting with fight or flight.

Unfortunately, ego’s very good at convincing its host that what it believes/thinks/wants is the ultimate and only truth or reality. Mindfulness and mediation practices reveal our ego’s dictatorial bent and personal bias.

A dream is a small hidden door in the deepest and most intimate sanctum of the soul, which opens up to that primeval cosmic night that was the soul, long before there was the conscious ego.” Carl Jung

My above-noted dream scenario serves as an example of both the subconscious and the unconscious at work.

Symbology is one of the many tools our unconscious uses to get our attention, with dreams being a conduit to consciousness.  Without going into dream interpretation, my unconscious took my subconscious material – foreign languages – and turned it into a symbol representing a lack of communication between parts of me, which I then can explore.

But first I must consciously address my ego who is right there upon my awakening, insisting I ignore this gift of a dream from my psyche. “We have more important things to attend to!” it insists.

Honoring all parts of myself – after all, the ego did keep me safe – I remind if gratefully and compassionately of its past and current job descriptions.  I tell it that when other bits of me are ignored, denied participation in the conversation, or left to die in a neglected corner of my soul, I incur stress which brings sickness, disease, and an early death – not a hopeful outcome for ego.

Through mindfulness practices, we watch attentively for emerging unconscious behaviors, beliefs, and values which come knocking on our door.

And as always, People House ministers, counselors, therapists, and staff are here to assist you on your path of transformation. No one can do it for you, but you can’t do it alone!

_______

Notes & Sources:

1.) Psychology Glossary, https://www.alleydog.com/glossary/psychology-glossary.php

2.) In my early teens I asked my mother what the term “male ego” meant, a popular phrase in those days, usually with the word “fragile” attached to it. She refused to discuss it, which sent me to the dictionary – not finding it of course, and “ego” with its 10-15 word definition did not do the word justice to my teen brain. I perceived uncomfortable emotions attached to her refusal – correctly or incorrectly – and so did not risk pursuing the topic further with other adults.

_______

About the Author: Rev. Mary Coday Edwards is a Spiritual Growth Facilitator and People House Minister. A life-long student of spirituality, Mary spent almost 20 years living, working and sojourning abroad in Asia, Southeast Asia, East Africa, and Latin America before finding her People House “tribe” and completing its Ministerial Program. Past studies include postgraduate studies from the University of South Africa in Theological Ethics/Ecological Justice, focusing on the spiritual and physical interconnectedness of all things. With her MA in Environmental Studies from Boston University, abroad she worked and wrote on environmental sustainability issues at both global and local levels, in addition to working in refugee repatriation

Here is a list of the other blog Mary has written for People House:

Spirituality in Daily Life: Reject the Box – Not the Mystery! || Mary Edwards

By Mary Coday Edwards
People House Featured Blogger

In last week’s blog, I mentioned three items relevant to this week’s:

1. Staying present to your current experience: basically, HOW is your NOW?
2. Not only does this NOW hold valuable information, it’s also where we experience Oneness with the Universe, Divine, Higher Consciousness, Gaia, Brahman, Ultimate Reality, Goddess/God, non-God, Light, Love (space limits the ways this concept is expressed), and
3. Spirituality seems to imply we are seeking a connection with something greater than ourselves.

So, combining those three items, did you experience anything when you read that last phrase of No. 2, words I used to describe the ineffable, the unexplainable, the Mystery? Did any of those limiting words cause a reaction within you? In your body? Is one of your emotions screaming at the edge of your consciousness? Did you stop reading at that point? Or is one rising gently, peacefully? Did a past memory surface, pleasant or unpleasant? What did I leave out that feels important to your experience? Do you believe that some of those words/images are just flat out wrong?

I encourage you to bring your awareness to WHAT you may be rejecting and WHY.

No one can tell us exactly what – or who – this Ultimate Reality really IS. Mystics and poets down through the eons have described their own experiences and thus have given us intimations of what this Reality may look like, but at the end of the day, all these terms are metaphoric variations.

A metaphor is used when we don’t know what something is in order to give it some sort of meaning that we can connect the concept to.

Feminist Christian theologian Sallie McFague says that to think metaphorically “… means spotting a thread of similarity between two dissimilar objects, events, or whatever, one of which is better known that the other, and using the better-known one as a way of speaking about the lesser known (Note 1, pg 15).

Scholar Ian Barbour first studied science and then religion, eventually drawing comparisons and differences between the two, in particular how both used metaphors, models, and paradigms to explain the unseen (Note 2). Barbour says that “Religious language often uses imaginative metaphors, symbols, and parables, all of which express analogies” (Note 3, pg 119).

Models & paradigms: Helpful, but not the same as Reality!

Some of these analogies evolve into models. For example, Western Christians are familiar with the metaphors of God as father, king/conqueror, to the point where the Divine is restricted to this patriarchal-defined reality, leaving analogical language behind. In parts of Latin America, the model of God as Liberator informs reality.

But the New Testament scriptures are replete with other metaphors, such as God as the woman seeking her coin. Although that is mentioned in the same Bible verse as the parable of the good shepherd, how many stained glass windows do you see depicting God as Woman seeking her lost coin? Or Jesus as a Mother Hen, gathering up her chicks under her wings (Note 4)? Neither of those metaphors even made it to model stage.

Copy 3 IMG_3287

And this is not just true of Western Christianity; I’ve seen and experienced this pattern repeat itself all over the world. Every religion, every sect, for the most part, has definite ideas about Ultimate Reality, leaving little wiggle room – in other words, little room left for Mystery. It’s the mystics who shatter the walls of their respective boxes.

Barbour goes on to explain how a model can then crystalize into a paradigm. A paradigm, whether in science or religion, includes metaphysical assumptions and captures the imagination of its adherents. In the process, a paradigm defines reality, determines what sort of questions can be asked, and what sort of tools are used to analyze this reality (Note 5).

“Doubt frees us from illusions of having captured God in a creed.”

We have inklings of this Otherness, but our words anthropomorphize this Otherness. When we say, “God is Love,” our human ideas, images, and definitions of love immediately surface. Whatever negative or positive attributes we associate with love are now imputed to the God we defined as love.

When we reject “God”, what we might really be rejecting is the metaphor, the model, or the paradigm presented to us as the only or primary version of Ultimate Reality.  Perhaps it was imposed upon us in our childhoods and it no longer fits our experience. Our world picture changes as we grow and change.

Additionally, if you’re reading this blog, you’re either my good friend or relative, and/or you’re interested in growing spiritually. As noted in last week’s blog, spirituality conveys the idea of living peaceably with ourselves, with each other, and with our natural environment. The global battle for religious supremacy still rages among us. Thinking metaphorically vs. in absolutes (OUR absolutes) about the Divine opens up a space of humility within us where we can cultivate kindness, gentleness, and compassion for our fellow travelers.

Barbour says that, “Doubt frees us from illusions of having captured God in a creed” (Note 6).

So does thinking metaphorically.


Note 1: McFague, Sallie. Metaphorical Theology: Models of God in Religious Language. Philadelphia: Fortress Press, 1982, 1987.

Note 2: The atoms subatomic construct cannot be directly observed, but based on theories we’ve developed amazing technology, such as this computer I’m typing on, my cell phone, and information available at my fingertips due to the internet.

Note 3: Barbour, Ian. Religion and Science: Historical and Contemporary Issues. New York: HarperCollins, 1997.

Note 4: Luke 15:8-10; Matthew 23:37

Note 5: For more information on metaphors, models, and paradigms, see Barbour, Religion and Science; Barbour, Myths, Models, and Paradigms: A Comparative Study in Science & Religion; Harper & Row, 1974; and Kuhn, T.S., The Structure of Scientific Revolutions; University of Chicago Press, 1996 ed.

Note 6: Barbour, Myths, Models, and Paradigms: A Comparative


About the Author: Mary Coday Edwards is a Spiritual Growth Facilitator and People House Minister. A life-long student of spirituality, Mary spent almost 20 years living, working and sojourning abroad in Asia, Southeast Asia, East Africa, and Latin America before finding her People House “tribe” and completing its Ministerial Program. Past studies include postgraduate studies from the University of South Africa in Theological Ethics/Ecological Justice, focusing on the spiritual and physical interconnectedness of all things. With her MA in Environmental Studies from Boston University, abroad she worked and wrote on environmental sustainability issues at both global and local levels, in addition to working in refugee repatriation.

Spirituality in Daily Life: Defining Sprituality

By Mary Coday Edwards
People House Featured Blogger

The best thing about discussing spirituality these days is that no institution or organization owns its definition and, therefore, can place judgment on what you or I believe is significant to our own spirituality. Google it and within two seconds more than 14 million hits are at your disposal.

However, generally speaking, spirituality seems to imply a two-way search: We seek for a connection with something greater than ourselves and at the same time, seek through self-knowledge to live a fully human and integrated life (Carl Jung called this inward seeking “the inner call to individuation”).

This, of course, erroneously implies dualism. As mystics and poets have written about for eons–and now quantum physics points to ever more tangibly–this search for connection ends up with the understanding that we are truly interconnected, not only with each other but also cosmically. We are made out of star stuff. 

Spirituality, not religion, is the focal point for People House’s personal and spiritual growth endeavors. Quoting from People House’s website, “Spirituality is less about doing and more about being our truest, most authentic self everywhere we go.”

This first blog on Spirituality in Daily Life will look at other contemporary definitions of spirituality–a brief and non-exhaustive review.

PRACTICING SPIRITUALITY: It’s simple but not easy! 

What I suggest is that you read this with a pen and paper at hand and jot down any words that “ping” within you, anything that touches an emotional chord, whether it be joy, peace, fear, anger, anxiety, frustration, sadness, or happiness. And then locate that emotion within your body if possible. Is it in your gut? Chest? A specific chakra region? What and where is your body reacting to? Register this emotion non-critically–emotions aren’t good or bad, they just are (it’s what we do with these emotions that gets us in trouble!).

Why the emphasis on our bodies? Our thoughts wander to past memories and plans for dinner–we have a difficult time focusing on what’s happening right now.  Meanwhile, our bodies are always here, present to our experiences, and hence are amazing founts of wisdom and knowledge. So jot down where that emotion is registering and later sit with that prayerfully and humbly, asking for more understanding.

Spirit Quest

If you should follow through on this exercise, congratulations! You have just practiced a key component of spirituality: you were present to your current experience. This moment is all we have–the past is gone, the future hasn’t happened. The now holds the seeds to the future. When we’re not present to this moment not only do we miss valuable information, we miss the opportunity for self-knowledge necessary to live an integrated life. This present moment is where we experience the Divine, Spirit, Ultimate Reality–where we come face-to-face with God.

Jon Kabat-Zinn, the founder of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction, calls this practice mindfulness and says it is “paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally, to the unfolding of experience moment to moment.”

SPIRITUAL BUT NOT RELIGIOUS: How NOT to be vague at the family reunion! 

Historically, spirituality has been used interchangeably as a synonym for religion. One was considered spiritual if one followed the institutionalized and structured system of beliefs, practices, and morals within a given religious framework.

However, in contemporary Western societies, we find an increasing number of people describing themselves as “spiritual but not religious.”  William James, author of the 1902 book The Varieties of Religious Experiences, is credited with beginning this separation of spirituality from religion. While they can, and do, overlap, it is possible to be spiritual without being religious and vice versa.

Eckhart Tolle believes that a growing number of followers of traditional religions–once they are able to let go of identifying solely with their dogma and rigid belief systems–are discovering the original depth that is veiled within their own spiritual tradition. Tolle goes on to say that they realize that how spiritual one is “has nothing to do with what one believes, but everything to do with your state of consciousness. This, in turn, determines how you act in the world and interact with others (Note 1).”

In Integrating Spirituality and Religion into Counseling, editors Craig S. Cashwell and J. Scott Young define spirituality as “the universal human capacity to experience self-transcendence and awareness of sacred immanence, with resulting increases in greater self-other compassion and love (Note 2).”

Editors Streib and Hood, in Semantics and Psychology of Spirituality: A Cross-Cultural Analysis, do not offer a definition, as they wanted their research participants to respond to spirituality in ways meaningful to them (Note 3, pg 121). The editors did, however, include Zinnbauer and Pargament definitions of religion as “search for significance in ways related to the sacred” and of spirituality as “search for the sacred,” where sacred refers not only to God and higher powers, but also to a wide variety of life’s experiences: “Virtually any dimension can be perceived as holy, worthy of veneration or reverence [and] . . . not necessarily rooted in beliefs about God (Note 3, pg 5).”

Streib and Hood also include William James’ definition of religion, “as feelings, acts, and experiences of individual men in their solitude, so far as they apprehend themselves to stand in relation to whatever they may consider the divine.” Spirituality, as it is used today, was not part of James’ 1902 lexicon; he used mysticism to express concepts inherent in spirituality (Note 3, page 6).

c'pd, looking east IMG_1048

Streib and Hood were seeking to capture how their research participants subjectively defined their own spiritualties.  In summarizing their conclusions, while finding no single concept of spirituality, Streib and Hood did identify 10 statistically significant characteristics. It is beyond the scope of this blog to further analyze these findings; these characteristics are included only as a tool to enable you to examine your own defining essentials. Note that these are not listed in order of importance nor were the participants asked to rank these attributes in order of importance – these are ways respondents defined their spirituality.  Following is the list, with short explanations given by the editors (Note 3, pgs 143-148):

1) A feeling of connectedness/oneness: Harmony with the universe, nature, and the whole

2) Part of religion: Christian belief

3) The higher self: Inner search for self, meaning, peace, and enlightenment – which following Abraham Maslow’s thinking, has to be sought and developed.

4) Ethics, values: Holding and everyday acting according to values and morality in relation to humanity; spirituality is often associated with the necessity to lead a moral life.

5) Belief in a higher power(s): Higher beings (deities, gods)

6) Belief in something beyond: Intuition of something of some being(s) that are unspecified, but higher than and beyond oneself. The participants chose not to further define the nature of the transcendent, but acknowledge its existence which they experience to be of importance.

7) Existential truth: Experiences of truth, purpose, and wisdom beyond rational understanding

8) Esotericism: Awareness of a non-material, invisible world, supernatural energies and beings (spirits, etc.)

9) Opposition to religion: Dogmatic rules and traditions

10) Individual religious praxis: Meditation, prayer, worship

So… did you feel any pings? What would you add? And how does spirituality manifest itself in your everyday life?


Note 1: Tolle, Eckhart. A New Earth, Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose. Plume; 2006. Pages 18, 19.

Note 2: Cashwell, Craig S. and Young, J. Scott, Editors. Integrating Spirituality and Religion into Counseling, A Guide to Competent Practice. American Counseling Association, 2011. Ebook.

Note 3: Streib, Heinz and Hood, Ralph W. Jr., Editors. Semantics and Psychology of Spirituality: A Cross-Cultural Analysis. Springer, 2016.


About the Author: Mary Coday Edwards is a Spiritual Growth Facilitator and People House Ordained Minister. A life-long student of spirituality, Mary spent almost 20 years living, working, and sojourning abroad in Asia, Southeast Asia, East Africa, and Latin America before finding her People House “tribe” and completing its Ministerial Program. Past studies include postgraduate studies from the University of South Africa in Theological Ethics/Ecological Justice, focusing on the spiritual and physical interconnectedness of all things. With her MA in Environmental Studies from Boston University, abroad she worked and wrote on environmental sustainability issues at both global and local levels, in addition to working in refugee repatriation.

Toilet Training for My Inner Child: Spirituality? – Rev. Stephen “Clyde” Davis

As a People House Minister, I felt moved to create a blog that had a spiritual nature. That sounded reasonable until I began to more closely examine the assumptions and possible expectations involved around the use and meaning of the word spiritual or spirituality.

Although I consider myself a spiritual person, I cannot demonstrate that by many commonly held beliefs and actions.

Do I adhere to a specific religion or faith? No, but I do find particular aspects and beliefs of some major religions to be attractive.

Do I believe in God? No. Certainly not the omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent father-figure, creator, judge and, hoary thunderer I grew up with.

Do I worship or pray? No.

Do I believe in original sin or my intrinsic unworthiness and need to be redeemed? No.

Do I need an exterior authority to provide me with morality, ethics, values, guidance, approval, rewards or punishments? No (but I used to).

Do I need all my questions answered or have all my doubts and confusions resolved? No, although that seems very appealing at times…

Do I believe I have a soul? No. At least not the accepted definition of a soul, anyway.

Do I believe there is an afterlife in which my consciousness continues? No. Until someone comes back and reports their experience in a verifiable way, all bets are off.

Do I ascribe to or embrace any religious or spiritual dogma? No – and yes. More on this later.

So how do I justify my ministry, my ordination as a minister? How can I affirm my spirituality in the face of all these seeming contradictions?

That’s complicated. It calls for some examples of what spirituality is in my life, and what I believe are important components of spirituality or being spiritual.

One challenging spiritual thing I do is practice awareness. I try to expand the depth and duration of my awareness at all times. (Or at least whenever I am awake enough to realize I have the opportunity…) Whether I am at work, communicating, creating or just relaxing, I make an effort to be present with and listen to what is going on around and in me.

I am also drawn to situations, experiences and relationships where I am forced to admit I am ignorant, uncertain and may never know the right answer or path to follow. Embracing this constant uncertainty keeps me in a state of enhanced awareness and consciousness.

I also practice to the best of my ability the principles of compassion, non-judgment, personal growth, authenticity, accountability, integrity, ownership, listening and facilitating. Sprinkled with a (sometimes too) liberal dose of humor and spontaneity, these principles guide my spirituality and growth.

But there’s more to my notion of spirituality than these few hints – lots more.

Undoubtedly you have a few thoughts as well.  And so a blog is born. Hopefully I can stimulate you to question your own beliefs and values as I explore my own and we take this path together.

Until next time,

Clyde

Toilet Training for My Inner Child: Introduction (And True Facts) – Rev. Stephen “Clyde” Davis

Nothing has been more on my mind in the last six months than exactly how I was going to begin this – my first blog. And nothing has demonstrated more clearly so many of my weaknesses.

I have struggled with doubt: Do I have anything of value to say? Can I adequately express whatever I feel strongly about? Are my beliefs and perspectives of any interest to anyone but me?

I have struggled with fear: Will I represent People House poorly? Will I show myself to be as boring, ill-informed and/or pedantic as many of my “inner committee” voices avow? Can I really pull this off?

I have struggled with inadequacy: I don’t have the credentials needed to speak with any authority. How can a life-long blue-collar worker with “some college” have anything interesting to say? Who do I think I am?

I have struggled with procrastination: Naaah – I’ve got lots of time before I have to produce anything concrete… I do my best work at the last minute… Just how long can I put off actually writing anything?

Interestingly, I noticed that my thoughts mostly ran to reasons for my potential failure in trying something new. I rarely found myself coming up with support for this experience being successful and rewarding. In fact, only when talking with friends and relatives did I hear positive comments about this opportunity. Hmmm. This “gave me furiously to think.”

I recognized I had been struggling with staying present.

All the above represent what happens inside me when I look to the future instead of staying present. In this moment, I have no fear, no misgivings, no doubt. And so this blog will be a continual exercise in being present, being open and honest about what is happening for me and what my experience of living is like.

As one way of beginning, let me give you a brief glimpse of some of the ways in which I show up in the world:

I was born in 1952. I have one younger brother. I have been successfully married for 38 years and am the father of two sons – one married with a daughter and a son. My father died several years ago and my mother is 89 and resides in an assisted living facility in upstate New York. This may all sound perfectly normal until I tell you that my father’s sister married my mother’s brother and both my grandmothers lived for many years after their husbands’ deaths with two unmarried daughters, two of whom had psychotic episodes… But I digress.

I also identify myself (less factually) as a personable/isolated, insightful/insipid, intellectual/playful, gracious/grating, quiet/clamorous, wise/glib, listening/storytelling perpetrator/victim. I also have years of experience in psychotherapy as both facilitator and patient. In short, I easily relate to paradox and understand impasse. There are good reasons I call myself a Minister of Uncertainty – I refuse to fit in any predetermined category.

I am truly looking forward to this adventure.

And along the way, just call me,

Clyde

People House: a Center for Personal and Spiritual Growth