Posts tagged ‘Anxiety’

The Importance of Taking Care ll By Rich Brodt

The Importance of Taking Care

By Rich Brodt for People House Blogs

Folks in the helping professions tend to have pretty good awareness of the idea of self-care. However, that does not always mean we put it into practice. I regularly hear of helping professionals slipping into substance abuse, bad habits and unhealthy relationship patterns regardless of the fact that they are regularly able to help other individuals though the same issues. It is likely that they even talk about self-care with their clients, yet have a difficult time applying the principles to themselves.

Most of us in the helping professions are self-employed and run our own businesses. We tend to identify with our business and genuinely feel the ups and downs, and financial pressures that can lead us to poor self-care.

We will not take time off, because we need to get those appointments in, and meet our year-end goals.

We agonize over a tough case instead of coming home and transitioning out of work mode. We skip a workout to return a call or do some other inane task that will have negligible effect on our business. These things do not help us feel good, and these things do not make us better at our jobs. When we start to lose control of how we take care of ourselves, things become disorganized, jumbled and stressful. We lose track of the borders between our personal and professional lives. This can lead to a state of both exhaustion constant stress.

I believe that exhaustion, stress and anxiety are all made much worse by a lack of boundaries. The boundaries may be absent in one’s work life, one’s home life, or both.

In my experience, if a person has poor boundaries, they usually apply those poor boundaries to all aspects of their lives.

By definition, boundaries are intended to mark limits. Without them, we constantly push past our limits and have little left for ourselves. Since most helping professionals have a tendency to be on the more empathic side, this can have really negative consequences. If we are constantly pushed past our limits, we have a very difficult time trying to regain our center.

When you mention boundaries to a client, they often react with fear at having to set and maintain boundaries. After all, it is not uncommon for the setting of limits to be met with conflict. When you mention them to other professionals they react in much the same way. They do not want to leave their clients high and dry during difficult times.

The desire to help comes from a good place, but often leaves the helper feeling exhausted.

When we lose track of our boundaries we have a hard time differentiating between our own feelings and the feelings of others. This can lead to some difficult situations if we are not careful. If we consistently maintained poor boundaries, we’d all run into an ethical problem eventually.

As far as I am concerned, the first step in taking care of oneself is identifying and setting boundaries. Once we gain more control over our time, we are able to focus on our own needs. My next entry will continue on this topic, focusing on ways to identify and meet our own needs.


 

I provide therapy and counseling for individuals. My style integrates various techniques, but I tailor my approach to each client’s unique needs. I am committed to helping people that experience anxiety resulting from trauma, work-related stress, legal issues or major life transitions. Together, we will work to calm your mind and create lasting change.

2727 Bryant Street Suite 550 Denver, CO 80211

People House Denver, 3035 W. 25th Ave, Denver, CO 80211

Warriors Way LLC: Feeling Anxious – Glenn Bott

Take the time to check in with yourself throughout the day and see how you’re doing.  How would you sum up your status?  Doing great?  Feeling happy healthy, wise and wealthy?  Is your life flowing along in a gentle unfolding or are you getting caught up in some strife?

I suggest developing the habit to check in with yourself periodically to get an assessment on your current state of affairs.  Some people get wound too tight and caught up in the “doing” mode that they forget to slow down and enjoy the process.  In today’s “busy” culture where your busy activities are worn like a badge, it’s easy to fall into that trap.  You can’t win at that game, so I suggest  not even playing it.

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I found myself feeling a little anxious the other day.  I didn’t even realize it at the time.  Later, while walking the dogs I realized I had a low-level feeling of anxiousness going on.  This is unusual because I don’t have anything to be feeling anxious about.  I’m having a good time, my health is awesome, my life is good.  So what’s up?

It took me a while to sort this out but I finally realized it was a low-level thought running in the background of my mind.  Nothing really specific, just a deep thought that things should be going better with my coaching business.

I’m not a big fan of shoulds.  Should is a word that always leaves you in trouble.  Whenever you find yourself or someone else using the word should it’s a clear indication that their energy and intentions are split.  There isn’t a clear and unwavering focus or commitment to the task at hand.

The word should often leaves you open to guilt, the worst of all self-imposed punishments.  Shoulds almost always involve choosing between what you want to do, and what you or someone else expects you to do.  Another nasty should is behaving as you believe you should in order to live up to some external standard that you’ve internalized.

Stop!

Forget all about should.  I suggest removing it from your vocabulary.  Do it or don’t do it.  Keep your energy clean and focused.  Take a moment and check within yourself and see what your heart is telling you.  If you’re feeling great, have a sense of enthusiasm, and can’t wait to get started, then by all means move forward.  On the other hand, if you’re feeling dread, or have doubts, then wait.  I encourage people I coach to do everything in their life with full and complete commitment.  Keep your energy clean and focused.

Honor yourself first and foremost.  Have the courage to be yourself and stand in your truth.  Develop the awareness to check in periodically to make sure your heart/mind/spirit are all aligned.

Remember – if you aren’t going to honor and take care of yourself, who is?

 

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