This post is for anyone who struggles to feel like they are enough. It is for anyone who has a critical voice inside them that can be harsh, doubting, and sometimes even downright mean.
We tell ourselves lies every day, right inside our very own heads. We have grown up telling ourselves lies, and because we hear them through our internal voice so much, we start to believe them. These messages can be so very convincing. We often don’t even realize that these messages are lies – how could our own internal voice be lying to us? This voice is WITHIN us, so doesn’t it really KNOW us? We actually start hearing these words that become our negative scripts when we are young. Sometimes they are the voices of a teacher, a parent or a sibling or even narratives from society. They are the words that say, “you can’t do that”, “you are not enough”, or “you are too much”. Some call it the inner critic, others call it the judge, and you may call it your inner gremlin. This voice may tell us we are inadequate – it can be completely debilitating, and it can keep us stuck. The lies can be so confusing, and yet so powerful.
Let’s go back to those words and messages that we have heard throughout our lives from outside of us. What hurts have you experienced, and what do you wish could have happened instead? What is something that you wish that important person in your life would have said to you? What is something you wish that person who hurt you would say to apologize? What would you want that person who didn’t believe in you, or even left you, say to you now? Think about what you would want that person to say. Think about the unconditional compassion and love that you desire. What words do you need to hear? What love messages does your soul long for? What are the words you wish somebody else would say to you? Think about these words…think about these messages. Write them down … use the most soothing language you would want to hear. What would they say to you?
I am sorry I didn’t believe in you. You are so much stronger than you think you are, you are doing a great job, you will get through this. Please believe in yourself. You matter, and you will make it. You are valuable and you are not alone. I love you.
After you have written down these words, read them again.
Now, take your message and add to the top of the page
“Dear (insert positive adjective) Me,
Add to the bottom of the page your very own sign off and signature. Love, Me
You have just written yourself a letter from pure unconditional love.
Read it out loud and listen to the words. Allow yourself to really take in the messages you have written. These are messages from your heart. These are messages to your soul. You have the ability to give yourself the unconditional love and support that you have wanted to hear, and that you deserve. These messages are the truth, and they belong to you. By having compassion for ourselves and shining our truth on the lies they can start to lose their power.
The best part is that you can write yourself love notes every day. You don’t have to wait for someone else to tell you what you want to hear. When you need to hear the truth, write yourself a message. Post little notes around your home as important reminders and messages. You deserve to hear the truth. You deserve to believe the truth. You deserve unconditional love.
Dear Amazing Me,
I love you. You are valuable and you are enough.
Michele Bailey is a current counseling intern with People House pursuing an MA in Marriage and Family Therapy at Regis University. She is a mom of teenagers, dog mom, and marriage partner. She has an MBA and a BA in international studies. She draws from attachment and experiential therapies in her work with individuals and couples with a goal of creating a supportive environment to help clients heal, grow and become empowered to live their most authentic lives. You can reach Michele at firstname.lastname@example.org or (720) 600-4615