Finding Beauty in Imperfection || By Catherine Dockery MA, Conscious Aging Facilitator
Nothing lasts, nothing is finished, and nothing is perfect
-Richard Powell, Wabi-Sabi Simple
Life is impermanent and imperfect, and hanging onto a hope that the future will be different can just be an attempt to hold back this reality. If this is the case, hope can actually be deceptive and harmful. It can perpetuate unrealistic ideas and increase suffering. We may focus on the wrong things and miss the opportunities that are right in front of us.
For quality of life, it is best to learn to find peace in the imperfect present and look for its treasures. Free of hope, one can look into the imperfect present, knowing its impermanence and find peace with oneself. It makes one stop looking for answers outside of ourselves.
Japanese Healing Philosophy of Wabi-Sabi
The Japanese culture recognizes the acceptance of “what is” as a means to freedom from suffering. A concept called wabi-sabi values yielding and surrendering to the imperfect flow of life in order to free our mind and bring lightness to our life.
According to Omar Itani, wabi-sabi is an elegant Japanese philosophy that seeks to connect us to nature and our truest inner-selves. Wabi means finding the beauty in humble simplicity that includes the imperfect and incomplete. Sabi means the passage of time and recognizes impermanence. It encourages us to find the beauty in the way all things grow, age, and decay.
Wabi-sabi celebrates flawed beauty. Beauty seen in weathering, aging, or in simple utility and what is functional.
To cultivate this acceptance, we need to acknowledge “what is,” stay in the present moment, and appreciate the simple, transient stages of life. Strive to be excellent instead of being perfect and see beauty in all things, especially the broken and scarred.
Things that are close to you are the things from which to make art. -Sally Mann, photographer
The photographer, Sally Mann, said she tries to create art out of the everyday, ordinary. “It never occurred to me to leave home to make art. Art is everywhere… look for it to appreciate the mundane.”
When you realize art is everywhere, you start seeing things differently, not always striving for the shiny, new bling.
Life is a teacher that makes us reflect and find lessons even when it hurts. When life is hard, it can be very challenging to find the lesson or see the silver linings.
When we are broken about something, it is a journey to find a way to mend. That journey is a process that teaches us something about ourselves. It mirrors back to us who we are and what kind of relationships we want. We learn to accept another’s inability to love, their insecurities, their issues, and their problems. We may examine the damages others have left in the aftermath of our relationships with them, but remember to make a list of the important lessons each taught.
No one can make or break us; only we can do that. No one can complete us; we are already whole. No one can love us the way we deserve to be loved because we would have to love ourselves that way first.
Notes & Sources:
- Omar Itani, 5 Teachings From the Japanese Wabi Sabi Philosophy, https://www.omaritani.com/blog/wabi-sabi-philosophy-teachings
- Sam Shulberg, Tolerance, Acceptance and Understanding https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/tolerance-acceptance-understanding-sam-shulberg/
- Sally Mann, photographer
About the author: Rev. Catherine Dockery, MA, is a People House minister and a trained facilitator in conscious aging, nonviolent communication and resonant healing of trauma. She has an MA in Public Administration and BA in Communications both from the University of Colorado at Denver. Catherine started The Center for Conscious Aging in 2015 where she conducts workshops, personal coaching and support groups for older adults helping them to understand their developmental changes and transform their lives. She has 10 years of experience in individual and group facilitation and presents on aging topics throughout Colorado. To learn more about Catherine’s services please visit www.centerforconsciousaging.org or email [email protected]
