Carl Jung on Owning Your Shadow || by Rev. Mary Coday Edwards, MA
WHAT IS OUR SHADOW?
Jung said the shadow is that which I do not wish to be. It’s those parts of my personality or my organizations, if we look at the collective level, that when they’re brought to my awareness, I find them troubling.
It includes a whole range of our reality that is not necessarily available to our everyday consciousness. And just because something’s not observed by consciousness doesn’t mean it’s not present or active. It may be spilling into the world through us, without us being aware of it.
When our ego was forming through our experiences growing up, it hung on to some ideas and repressed or disowned others. From our caregivers, teachers, politicians, or religious leaders we received the message that some things were “bad” or “really wrong.” Perhaps our family wouldn’t allow anger so all that unexpressed anger went down into the basement of our psyche. Now as an adult, it’s hard to be angry about environmental or social injustices—issues which we ought to be angry about to see what we can do to correct the situations.
The shadow itself is not the problem, it’s how it plays out in our lives. It’s what it makes us do or keeps us from doing.
THE SHADOW SHOWS UP IN BASICALLY FOUR DIFFERENT WAYS
1-Most commonly, it remains unconscious.
We don’t look at ourselves in the mirror in the morning and say, “Today I’m going to repeat the same stupid, unhealthy things I’ve been doing for decades.”
The human psyche is incredibly diverse. It has mixed motives at all times. It’s a collection of splintered agendas and splinter personalities. Most of the time our shadow remains unconscious unless someone calls it to our attention, it shows up in our dreams, or we find that consequences are piling up. Our ego, still trying to protect us, quickly pulls back from exploring that scary material. Returning to my earlier example, when anger surfaces, fear of punishment immediately comes up.
2-The ego tries to disown the material by projecting it onto others.
You’re in a meeting and a colleague has to be the center of attention or continually discounts others’ opinions. You seethe at their self-centeredness. That strong emotion you’re feeling could be your shadow coming through.
Someone uncomfortable expressing strong feelings might say, “You’re yelling at me!” when the other person is only expressing a different opinion than yours.
By putting it onto someone else, I don’t have to be responsible for it; I can blame YOU. I don’t see that reality in myself, but I can see it in you. A projection is not a conscious decision; it’s an unconscious mechanism to disdain something.
How to work with a projection? We pay attention to our strong emotions and we become aware of any feelings of stress in our bodies. I recognize it: “Oh, what did I put on you?” Then I can claim that content, to own it within myself.
Our institutions play host to our collective projections and are where bigotry and prejudice dwell unchecked.
3-We get caught up in our shadow.
Some places in the United States advertise the shadow, such as Las Vegas and New Orleans, offering sex, alcohol, and gambling. People flock to these cities. What are they looking for? Some excitement, the enjoyment with the shadow.
An aging gentleman I knew lived a straight-laced life. In his later years when dementia began its slow takeover, he thoroughly enjoyed rolling down New Orleans Bourbon Street in his wheelchair, gawking unashamedly at the tantalizing, scantily-clad women lounging in the store-front windows.
The shadow holds a lot of energy, and the attraction of that energy draws us in and pulls us along. Sometimes people show up in our culture that embody the shadow—movie stars, sports figures, and politicians. Teenagers identify with groups that personify the shadow. Again, there is energy and excitement in the shadow, and underneath that is the appeal of that energy.
And try as we might to wall off our shadow, it almost consistently sneaks back in. How many principled politicians and religious leaders have we seen beset with shadow problems?
4-We choose to work with it.
We suffer it, we make it conscious, and slowly begin to integrate it.
Two thousand years ago Roman playwright Terence said, “I am human, and I think nothing human is alien to me.” As James Hollis said, “If I accept that there is the murderer inside of me, I could say I’d never murder anybody, but maybe I’ve murdered someone’s hopes in a comment. Maybe I’ve murdered my own best dreams. We’re never free of that. Don’t get caught in the literal.”
No one wants to face the conniving parts, the selfish parts, the insecure parts, the angry parts. But why would any of us be exempt from our human DNA? And remember that some of those parts represent many redeeming qualities—qualities that we don’t feel easy access to. As mentioned earlier, anger fuels resolve to address unjust situations.
No One Can Do It For You, but You Can’t Do It By Yourself
I learned as a pre-teen to keep my opinions and ideas, as well as many of my emotions, to myself. The patriarchal church I joined in my late teens reinforced my need for safety through silence. Over the past few decades, I’ve reclaimed that part of me that I repressed into my shadow, but it hasn’t been easy. One of the first times I did publicly was when I wrote a controversial editorial for Mexico’s English daily newspaper when I worked there as an editor. My Mexican managing editor had pushed me to write it and when I finished, I felt like I had done something horribly wrong. Fortunately, I recognized where those feelings came from—fear of punishment or ostracization. Still, for several minutes, I had to breathe acceptance and calmness into my racing heart rate and my rising blood pressure.
In each of us there is an entire scope of nature that is present and active. Our main accountability to ourselves and to others around us is to pay attention to that and to own as much of it as possible.
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Notes & Sources:
- Hollis, James. “Introduction to Jung’s Shadow Work.” Jung Platform, Psychological and Spiritual Perspectives. https://jungplatform.com/
- “The Jungian Shadow.” Society of Analytical Psychology. Aug 12, 2015. https://www.thesap.org.uk/articles-on-jungian-psychology-2/about-analysis-and-therapy/the-shadow
- Ricord, Frederick W. (1885). The Self-Tormentor (Heautontimorumenos) from the Latin of Publius Terentius Afer with More English Songs from Foreign Tongues. New York: Charles Scribner’s. p. 25. Retrieved 22 January 2018 – via Internet Archive. The quote appears in Act I, Scene 1, line 25, or at line 77 if the entire play is numbered continuously.
About the Author: Award-winning author Rev. Mary Coday Edwards is a Spiritual Growth Facilitator and People House Minister. A lifelong student of spirituality, Mary spent almost 20 years living, working, and sojourning abroad in Asia, Southeast Asia, East Africa, and Latin America before finding her spiritual connection at People House and completing its Ministerial Program. Past studies include postgraduate studies from the University of South Africa in Theological Ethics/Ecological Justice, where she focused on the spiritual and physical interconnectedness of all things. With her MA in Environmental Studies from Boston University, abroad she worked and wrote on environmental sustainability issues at both global and local levels. In addition to working in refugee repatriation, she was an editor for international, English print, daily newspapers in Indonesia and Mexico.
