Summer: The Silent Cry of the Overadulting Parent || By Annabelle Denmark LPCC
As the school year winds down and summer stretches ahead, many parents feel a mix of excitement and trepidation. While summer promises family vacations, long days at the pool, and a break from the rigid school schedule, it also brings a host of challenges that can lead to parental burnout. For working parents, balancing jobs, childcare, and the demands of an over-scheduled lifestyle becomes a tightrope walk, exacerbated by the guilt of needing personal time—especially for neurodivergent parents who may find the summer hustle particularly overwhelming.
The Summer Juggle: Work, Kids, and Costly Childcare
Ah, summer—the season of sun, fun, and your bank account crying softly in the corner. Working parents face the Herculean task of finding reliable and affordable childcare. Summer camps and daycare programs, while lifesavers, often come with a price tag that makes you wonder if they’re secretly training future astronauts. The financial pressure adds to the stress of maintaining work productivity while ensuring your children are entertained and safe. You might even consider putting your kid in charge for a
week—how hard could it be, right?
Overstimulation and the Neurodivergent Parent
For neurodivergent parents, summer is like running a never-ending marathon while juggling flaming swords. The constant activity and noise can be overwhelming, turning every day into a sensory obstacle course. Overstimulation from managing energetic children, coordinating activities, and keeping the house from looking like a post-apocalyptic wasteland can lead to sensory overload. The relentless demands leave little room for self-care, and asking for a moment of peace can feel completely out of reach.
The guilt of needing time alone adds another layer of complication. Parents may feel they’re failing their children or not living up to societal expectations if they need personal space. For neurodivergent parents, who might already feel out of sync with conventional parenting norms, this guilt can be especially intense.
The American Dream and the Myth of Perfection
In contemporary society, the American Dream has somehow turned into a never-ending to-do list where success is measured by how many extracurriculars your child is enrolled in. The relentless pursuit of this dream can lead to chronic underperformance, as parents stretch themselves thin and their patience runs out.
This constant chase leaves little room for genuine connection and relaxation, both of which are essential for a healthy family dynamic. Over-scheduling can result in a disjointed family life, where moments of joy and togetherness are overshadowed by the rush from one activity to the next. In trying to offer their children every possible opportunity, parents may inadvertently sacrifice their own well-being and that of their family.
Finding Balance and Embracing Imperfection
To combat summer burnout, parents need to embrace the radical idea that perfection is not only unattainable but also a bit overrated. Setting realistic expectations and prioritizing self-care are crucial steps toward maintaining mental and emotional health. Simplifying schedules, delegating tasks, and allowing for unstructured family (and alone) time can help reduce stress. It’s important for parents to communicate openly with their children about the need for personal space and model healthy boundaries— and not only by hiding in the bathroom, hoping your kids forgot about you.
Ultimately, the key to surviving and thriving during summer is finding a balance that works for each family. Letting go of the myth of the perfect parent and the perfect summer allows for a more relaxed, enjoyable, and authentic family experience. Embracing imperfection and prioritizing well-being can lead to a more fulfilling summer for both parents and children. After all, the best memories are often made in the messiest moments.
Annabelle Denmark (she/they), MA, LPCC is a somatic therapist based in Lakewood, CO, They specialize in individual therapy for neurodivergent adults . You can find them at www.renegadecounseling.com
