6 Ways to Pinpoint What Truly Matters to You ll By Brenda Bomgardner

Feeling your emotions rise to the surface, you may sense a bubbling up from deep inside. No matter what you do to control your feelings, they still come up.

Perhaps you have felt dissatisfied with your work for a while, and want a change. Or, you feel that there are unresolved issues in your relationship, but you don’t say anything at all.

You may hide your emotions, push your feelings to the side, or simply ignore them. Even though you go to great lengths to try to fool yourself, your emotions won’t go away.

So, why do you try to keep fighting them?

It could be that they are trying to tell you something important that you need to hear. Therefore, consider these six ways to pinpoint what truly matters to you.

1. Relax Your Mind

You use a lot of mental energy trying to suppress your feelings. Because you are expending so much energy keeping your emotions at bay, you may miss out on what truly matters to you.

For example, you feel obligated to go to a 9-5 job to bring in an income.

Yet, your heart is telling you to be doing something completely different.

When you are able to relax your mind—such as through meditation—it’s easier to allow those other emotions to come to the surface and receive them.

2. Identify Your Feelings and Excuses

Identify what the feelings actually are that your gut is telling you versus the excuses you create for not feeling them.

For instance, let’s say you know deep down that you’d like to pursue a new hobby such as woodworking. Yet, you create all these excuses for not doing what truly matters to you.

You say that it’s too hard to learn or that you won’t be any good at it. However, your feelings say otherwise.

3. Record Your Feelings

Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean making a recording of yourself discussing your feelings. However, you could write down your thoughts in a journal. Or, create some expressive art that allows you to get out the emotions you’re feeling.

You could have a running dialogue between what you truly feel and the negative thoughts that prevent you from doing what truly matters to you.

4. Allow Yourself to Feel Your Emotions

It’s important to note that during this process you will still be tempted to push down your feelings. Maybe it’s because you are too scared of your emotions, or that you are ashamed.

Whatever the reasons, they prevent you from really knowing what matters to you. Thus, tell yourself that it’s okay to feel scared, angry, nervous, or even hopeful.

Too often we are told that our feelings are wrong. Really, it’s your inner voice reminding you what you already know.

5. Create a Plan of Action

Create a plan of action for how to do what really matters to you. This could be something simple, such as, “I’m going hiking today,” if you love being outdoors.

For something more complex, this could require a more detailed plan. Give yourself benchmarks to work toward and so you know when to move on to the next step.

To make a plan of action is a bold step. If you’re excited at all, you’ve likely pinpointed something that matters to you.

6. Talk to a Professional

As you create and implement your plan working toward what matters to you, it helps to talk to a professional.

Often, to identify and allow yourself to feel your emotions requires the support of a coach, per se. You can then collaborate together by creating a path towards what matters to you most.

Pinpointing what matters to you isn’t easy. Often, your true vision has been shrouded by negativity. By allowing yourself to truly feel your own desire, you can create a meaningful plan towards fulfilling your vision.

Talking to a professional who understands these issues can be an invaluable move as well. Please contact me today for coaching support.

To learn more about Brenda visit her About Me page

Brenda Bomgardner is in her encore career. One of her greatest joys in her career is seeing people move beyond life’s roadblocks toward a fulfilling and meaningful life. She believes each person has a purpose in life waiting to be realized and that purpose continues to evolve over a lifetime. The path to reaching your life’s purpose is as unique as each individual. We all have dreams. Step by step she will walk with you on uncovering how to bring your dreams to fruition.  Brenda is a counselor, coach and clinical supervisor and specializes in practicing Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) which is a cutting edge evidence-based process. This means there is scientific research to show ACT works. Before becoming a therapist and life coach, she completed a successful 17-year career in Human Resources at a Fortune 500 company. On a personal note she loves the great outdoors, ATV riding, adventure travel and family.