Posts tagged ‘Confidence’

3 Traits All Confident People Have ll Kate Heartsong

3 Traits All Confident People Have by Kate Heartsong

You probably have noticed people at your work place, in social situations and at family events who just seem to carry themselves with a positive and upbeat attitude. Maybe they’re the ones who seem to have everything going right for them.  When they walk in the room, they carry themselves with a certain air of confidence.  It seems that they make friends easily and they’re just that type of person you want to be around!  Ah, it’s that certain air of energy people are drawn to.  Well, these are people who have high self-confidence.

I remember many years ago in my twenties and my teen years when I didn’t feel confident. Back then, I had low self-esteem. I didn’t feel I deserve good things. And I also had people walk all over me easily.   On an unconscious level, I allowed them to.  I didn’t know how to deal with that.

Thankfully I came to realize that I needed to change how I felt about myself, and to build by self-confidence.  Over the years, I took various personal development workshops, got into psychotherapy for the childhood trauma I experienced, read many uplifting and life changing books and practiced many different tools (many of which I share with my clients, audiences and my readers).  As a result of my dedicated personal growth work, I am now quite confident in myself and I feel good about the person I am, the gifts and skills I offer my clients and audiences, and my friends and family, and I’m happy.  You see, it’s possible to change into a more positive and confident person.  I’m living proof!  This is exactly why I’m so passionate about doing the confidence-building coaching and teaching work that I do.

So, for our article this month, here are three traits confident people have.   You cancultivate these traits for yourself over time, by your willingness to be consistent in using confidence-building tools you learn, in practicing feeling good about yourself, reading uplifting books, perhaps talking to a professional counselor or psychotherapist, and by being kind and supportive of yourself!

  • They believe in themselves. Confident people know the gifts and skills they offer and they know themselves well; they recognize the good they offer and realize their self-worth.  This creates a stronger belief in themselves.  Confident people believing in themselves is not being egotistical because they ALSO see the good and the value in everyone else.
  • They use positive self-talk. Confident people use positive language when talking to themselves instead of beating themselves up.  Have you noticed a confident, upbeat person walking into the room?  You can bet they appreciate themselves and use positive self-talk.
  • They surround themselves with positive, uplifting situations, events and people. Like attracts like.  We facilitate more positive attitude when we do positive things like watch happy movies and minimize negative news or people.

Here’s to your confidence, joy, empowerment and fun!

Kate Heartsong is the “Confidence Coach”, motivational speaker, workshop facilitator, author and Reiki Master/Teacher.  Her passion to serve others comes from her personal journey of transformation.  Kate’s audiences and clients gain self-confidence and new heights of self-appreciation and also reduce their stress, through her deep wisdom, expertise, caring, and the Psychology and Business degrees she holds.

Trusting, Confidence and Inner Peace ll Kate Heartsong

Trusting, Confidence and Inner Peace 

Trusting ourselves and that all is well in our lives is a big one for many people.  It certainly has been for me!  I have gratefully become more trusting over time, trusting myself, others, and that all really is in divine right order in my life.  Of course, we all can’t go around trusting everything, but that’s where discretion and self-trust comes in.   As you increase self-trust, your self-confidence grows!  It has a wonderful cumulative effect.

Here are two simple techniques on increasing your self-trust:

1.) Create a special altar in your home that is specific to your heart’s desires. This altar can consist of special mementos that bring a sense of peace and joy. It could include such items as a sentimental family photo, a unique rock from a place that brought you joy on vacation, a poem, or picture that ignites a certain pleasant memory; anything that brings you a feeling of love and warmth can be put on your alter.

Once you have this alter, sit next to it and just be with the essence of it and set an intention to be more trusting. As you are with these objects, choose to have positive thoughts, and choose to relax and trust all is well.

2.) You can carry with you a small cherished object that warms your heart and reminds you that all is well for you. Touch this object during the day as often as you like.

As you touch the object, you can feel in your heart and say any of the following words to help build trust:

–  I am a child of The Creator and this inherently means I am indeed taken care of on all levels. All my needs are easily met.

–  It is The Creator whom I am always with and therefore I trust that all is well in my life.

– I fully know and believe that all I need is provided for me now and always. I deeply breathe this truth into my soul.

– The Creator, You and I are one, and therefore abundance of joy, peace, and harmony are mine. I easily receive these blessings.

As I have greater trust, I have more self-confidence, and also inner peace.  This in turn contributes to more peace in the world through our collective consciousness, since we are all one connected !  Oneness !  Isn’t it grand to know you can make a positive difference?

In what ways do you create more trust within yourself?

Here’s to your confidence, joy, empowerment and fun!

Kate Heartsong is the “Confidence Coach”, motivational speaker, workshop facilitator, author and Reiki Master/Teacher.  Her passion to serve others comes from her personal journey of transformation.  Kate’s audiences and clients gain self-confidence and new heights of self-appreciation and also reduce their stress, through her deep wisdom, expertise, caring, and the Psychology and Business degrees she holds.

Kate Heartsong

Life’s Interconnection, Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem ll Kate Heartsong

Blog # 3. Due Dec 1 2017

Life’s Interconnection, Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

     Have you ever experienced walking into a room where the tension was so thick you thought you could “cut it with a knife”?  Or, how about when you’re suddenly thinking of a loved one, only to have that very same person call you shortly afterwards?  And how about the phenomena of birds turning exactly in unison while flying together?

     What explains all this is the concept of life being interconnected, also known as Oneness. There are many scientific studies proving that, at our most elemental basis, we’re all energy, and this is what causes the oneness/interconnectedness of life.   Lynn McTaggart, internationally known author and researcher, stated: “At our most elemental (level)…… human beings and all living things are a coalescence of energy in a field of energy connected to every other thing in the world.”

     I love this quote from John Pierrakos, a physician and psychiatrist:  “Energy and consciousness are in a continual state of interaction: energy is shaped and directed by consciousness which is itself driven by energy.”  What this means is how we feel about ourselves and how we show up influences those around us, because we’re all energy. 

     So, what does all this have to do with self confidence and self-esteem?  Everything!  For when you raise your self-confidence and self-esteem, not only do you feel better but this positively effects those around you.  When you feel confident, love yourself, and realize your gifts and skills, then you’re better able to show up more authentically with those around you. By doing this, you’re actually better able to give to others!  (And by the way, being self-confident and loving yourself is NOT egotistical.  It’s only being egotistical if you think you’re better than someone else!)

     Think about that! Yes indeed, you’re better able to give to others and also offer higher quality service.  And you’re a happier human being.

Wow, what would that be like, to be happy and to show up more fully for others with more joy and authenticity?

     So, are you beginning to see just how vital it is for you to build your self confidence and self-esteem?   It all starts with you! One person at a time! Yes, you can make a difference in your own life by raising your self-confidence and self-esteem, and in doing so you’re also making a positive difference  to those around you; in your work place; your home; along with your community and the city you live in, and……. also in the world.  This is because we’re all interconnected and we have a collective consciousness.    

     My invitation to you is to read my two previous self-confidence blogs and read books on this subject, google self-confidence articles, take workshops ( I have one coming up February 20th at People House), and take the journey of raising your self-esteem and confidence!  You deserve to live in joy.

Here’s to your confidence, joy, empowerment and fun!

Kate Heartsong is the “Confidence Coach”, motivational speaker, workshop facilitator, author and Reiki Master/Teacher.  Her passion to serve others comes from her personal journey of transformation.  Kate’s audiences and clients gain self-confidence and new heights of self-appreciation and also reduce their stress, through her deep wisdom, expertise, caring, and the Psychology and Business degrees she holds.

Kate Heartsong

Building Self-Confidence ll Kate Heartsong

Building Self-Confidence

By: Kate Heartsong  

Self-confidence is an important foundation for all areas of our lives. 


– impacts how we interact with others and how we relate to ourselves

– effects how we perform at our jobs or our own business

– is responsible for how easy or hard we experience life changes

– gives us our ability (or inability) to step outside of our comfort zone and try new experiences

– and more

     We all benefit from having a healthy level of self-confidence, whether it’s the type of self-confidence that’s related to self-esteem, related to making life changes, or the confidence related to self-efficacy (the level of confidence you have regarding receiving results from the effort you put out).

     Building self-confidence and maintaining this is all an inside job.  It’s up to you to take effective action steps such as learning and using tools and processes.  Be willing to take the bull by the horns.  No one else can do it for you!  In this, and the future confidence articles, I’ll be sharing some valuable tools for you to use.

     Some of the symptoms of low self-confidence include frequently saying sorry, feeling depressed, having self-doubt, making mistakes and covering them up so others don’t think bad of you or asking for something you want.

     So, you may be asking “How can I raise my self-confidence”?  Well, one of several effective ways is to create a more positive and better belief about yourself.   This is done through affirmations and visualizations, and are much more effective when you feel the emotions that are associated with the new beliefs you want to create.

You’re invited to discover a process that I call “The Feeling Process”. This will help you build your self-confidence:

1) Become aware of what belief or behavior you want to change. 
Example:  Have less self-criticism
2) Create a replacement belief or behavior and then create a visual representation and/or an affirmation  
Example: The replacement behavior is: Use more positive self-talk.
Visualize a big beautiful red heart that represents positively talking to yourself instead of criticizing yourself.
 3) Now imagine this visual representation and/or say the affirmation, and at the same time, feel the emotion of how it feels to have this new belief or behavior.  Just use your imagination and make believe.  Have fun with this! It’s best to do this for a few minutes or more.
Example: Visualize the big beautiful red heart coming lovingly towards you.  With intention, feel the emotion of love and appreciation absorbing you.  This emotion can be invoked by thinking of a loved one or remembering a positive experience.
Say positive statements such as “I appreciate you!”
You’ll benefit by doing this daily several times a day.  The more you do this, the better.  It has a cumulative effect too!  So, if this process resonates with you, use it. You’ll love the benefits you receive!
There are other processes and tools that you can use to build your confidence; you’ll learn another one in the next blog. You’ll also discover that it’s through conditioning that creates your self-confidence.
Here’s to your confidence, joy, empowerment and fun!

Kate Heartsong is the “Confidence Coach”, motivational speaker, workshop facilitator, author and Reiki Master/Teacher.  Her passion to serve others comes from her personal journey of transformation.  Kate’s audiences and clients gain self-confidence and new heights of self-appreciation and also reduce their stress, through her deep wisdom, expertise, caring, and the Psychology and Business degrees she holds.

Kate Heartsong

Play: Not just for Kids – Monica Myers

The opposite of play is not work, it is depression. –Brian Sutton-Smith


Brueghel: 1560


The New York Times magazine described it as “Deeper than gender, seriously but dangerously fun, and a sandbox for new ideas about evolution.”  What is it?


Play is actually serious business. It is universal and timeless; and it is the most productive and enjoyable activity that children undertake.

Free, imaginative play is vital for normal social, emotional and cognitive development. We now have the scientific research to document the crucial role it plays in the healthy neurological development of children. Unstructured, imaginative play has many benefits: it helps build social skills, strengthens confidence, develops a self-concept, improves problem solving, promotes emotional regulation, teaches boundaries and self-awareness, and the list goes on and on. In summary, it makes us better adjusted, smarter and less stressed.

These benefits seem pretty obvious to anyone who has ever observed children on a playground, and one wonders why we need science to validate them. The fact is that unstructured play in America has decreased so alarmingly in the past decade that the American Academy of Pediatrics, among others, are defending play in formal statements and recommendations.

Are today’s kids in danger of missing out on something essential, or is this adult nostalgia because children are playing differently than we did?

While pondering this question and conducting research for the Child Development class I was teaching, I came across an interesting TED talk by Dr. Stuart Brown. Dr. Brown is trained in general and internal medicine, psychiatry and clinical research and is also the founder of the National Institute for Play. I was astounded to learn that we had an institute dedicated to research on play, and it certainly piqued my curiosity. I learned that Dr. Stuart Brown came to study play through research on murderers – strange as that sounds — after he found a stunning common pattern in killers’ stories: a serious play deprivation history in childhood. Since then, he’s interviewed thousands of people to catalog their relationships with play, noting a strong correlation between success and playful activity.

I was impressed with Dr. Brown’s TED talk and struck by several of the images. The first was the collection of compelling examples of play in the animal kingdom. He poses the convincing argument that play is a biological and evolutionary imperative. Brown called play part of the ‘‘developmental sequencing of becoming a human primate. If you look at what produces learning and memory and well-being, play is as fundamental as any other aspect of life, including sleep and dreams.’’ Further, he insinuates that play is essential for social connection and bonding as “the basis of human trust is established through play signals.” He argues that we have begun to lose these play signals as adults in modern culture as we increasingly relegate play to the realm of childhood. Hmm…what are the implications of this?

Second, he compels us to take a historical perspective, and think about the dramatic changes in culture over the recent past. He makes references to historical images from the 15th century that portray entire communities—adults and children alike—engaged in various types of play (see Brueghel’s painting above) and asks, have we lost something today?

Why are adults not playing anymore, or at least not playing with such frequency, freedom and abandon?

I was reminded of Dr. Brown’s argument that play is not just for children the other day. It was a Untitled-1Wednesday and I could not shake my lethargy and sluggishness; I felt down and unmotivated. I had been highly focused and engaged in my work over the past several days, returning home in the evenings to my computer, researching, answering emails, and engaged in work-related tasks. Suddenly it was mid-week, and I felt lusterless. I remember pondering my heaviness as I drove to a commitment to help facilitate a children’s art therapy workshop. The transformation of my mood soon startled me. Literally within moments of entering the space of play, I felt shaken out of my three-day slump. The six year olds’ play was full of spontaneity, spirit, and pure joy and I found myself feeling inspired and creative as I joined them.

I have no doubt that play changes the brain’s biochemical situation and that adults regularly need its intrinsic rewards. We tap into our own youthful energy when we connect with the spirit of play and there is nothing more restorative. In his TED talk, Stuart Brown talks about the importance of play in adults to unleash collaboration, innovation, engagement and productivity. Stuart Brown’s research shows play is not just joyful and energizing — it’s deeply involved with human development and intelligence. But don’t take my word for it—check out his TED talk at the link below and see for yourself.


I welcome your responses, questions, and curiosities. Please direct them to Monica Myers at

Warriors Way LLC: 4 Ways to Boost Your Confidence – Glenn Bott

We all use the word CONFIDENCE, but what does it really mean to you?  When I use the word, it implies the following:

  • Trust and acceptance in who you are
  • Untitled-2Love of self
  • Trust in Spirit
  • Accepting responsibility for your actions and their outcomes
  • Willing and able to take the next step

Confidence is a sliding scale – we have various levels of confidence depending on the task or goal at hand.  Some are very confident in their ability to speak publicly, while others tremble.  Likewise, some are confident in their ability to achieve group consensus while others are severely lacking in this skill.  Each of us is unique, and our confidence will likely vary day/day, depending on the task.

No matter what our confidence level, we can constantly improve.  Here are some ideas that may help you move your confidence upward:

1. Trash your black and white definition of “failure”. Instead of thinking of it as a final label, thinks of it as something that happened at a particular time to a particular effort.  It was a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence.  You’re a capable and intelligent being – you will learn from this and do better the next time.

To increase your confidence, re-frame your thoughts and start thinking of life as an adventure.  Know of anyone who’s failed at an adventure?  Me neither.  When you view life as an adventure you automatically move into a more fun-loving mode and everything you do is just more exploration from your base camp.  No one can possibly know everything about even the simplest of subjects.  Loosen up – have some fun. Explore.

2. Say YES more often to the things that make your heart dance. Rather than get stuck and rigid in the things you should do because you’re a good boy/girl, take a moment to check inside and see if the proposal is making your heart dance.  Do you light up at the thought of doing it?  If this is the case, do this more often to help broaden your horizons, increase your confidence, and realize that you were living by your self-imposed rules all along.

When you do this you’re acting in alignment with your Spirit and this is a path on your goal of becoming who you really are.  This builds trust in yourself, strengthens your awareness, and unifies your being.  Just keep taking the next step – you’ll be fine!

3. Embrace your shortcomings. We’re all unique beings with our own strengths, weaknesses, preferences, and knowledge. To really be confident and successful, accept all parts of yourself, even what you see as your imperfections.  Chances are you picked up these silly notions from your childhood and haven’t taken the time to put them down and leave them behind you.  You are probably the only one who notices them.  They’ve become a part of your story.  So now’s the time to change your story for the better.

Rather than spend your time trying to excel at everything you do, I suggest taking an inventory of the things you truly love doing and already excel at.  Focus on these and find others who excel at the skills you need help with.  This is the beauty of a virtual organization – everyone is doing what they love and doing it at a very high level of proficiency.

  1. gfMind your internal dialogue – develop the discipline to check in on your thoughts and see if they’re helping or hurting you. Our mind can be our ally or our enemy.  We choose.  Check in periodically and see if the story that’s running in your head is a good one or not.  Start to develop the mental discipline to check in and start changing a story that no longer serves you.  Remember – we’re all creators.  If you don’t like what’s happening, you’re the only one who can change it.

We all deserve to live joyful and fulfilling lives.  Now’s the time to claim your power and start creating a totally awesome life!



People House: a Center for Personal and Spiritual Growth