Posts tagged ‘Truth’

The Warrior’s Way, LLC: 3 Steps to Success by Claiming Your Power – Glenn Bott

When you give your power away you leave yourself open to disillusionment, injury and regret.

 

Not good.

 

Think about the times in your life when you were riding high, having fun, and life was going your way.  I’ll bet you a lunch that you were feeling very powerful at the time.  In your goove.  Full of life and anticipation.

 

Here’s some steps you can take to start increasing your personal power and reclaiming those feelings and that “winner attitude”.

 

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Step 1 – Be Authentic                                            

 

Issue – Not speaking your truth and instead acting/speaking “appropriately”.  Whatever that is.

 

Solution – Society has many rules and interpretations.  I believe that the highest form of respect is to always speak your truth – no matter who you’re with or what the issue is.  Come from a place of love and be the best YOU that you’re capable of in the moment.  People will love, respect, and feel safe with you because they know you mean them no harm and will always speak your truth.  No games are being played.  YOU aren’t trying to gain an advantage.

 

Whenever you fall into the trap of thinking you need to behave a certain way, or give the appropriate response, you give your power away.

 

Step 2 – Be Impeccable                                         

 

Issue – you lack commitment in what you’re doing.  Your actions and your words aren’t aligned.  Your energy is split.

 

Solution – Be in the present moment and think before you speak.  Honor yourself and give yourself time to process the information before blurting out a response.  Being impeccable means walking your talk and doing what you say you’ll do when you say you’ll do it.  A simple equation.  Besides increasing your personal power, you will also be remembered because very few people actually honor their commitments.

 

Step 3 – Know Your Worth                                              

 

Issue – You let people walk all over you.  By trying to be liked and approved of, you twist and contort yourself in so many ways that no one knows the real YOU.  You’re always on the defensive, your self-esteem is in the gutter and you let people take advantage of you.

 

Solution – Stand tall and begin taking your best interest to heart.  If you don’t take of yourself, who will?  Take a breath, and start counting your positive attributes.  Take your time and do this until you start breathing easier, the weight on your shoulders lessens, and you regain your positive attitude.  Repeat to yourself that you matter, your opinions matter, and that you’re here for a purpose.

 

Learn more about the Warrior’s Way, LLC

Contact Glenn

Ownership – Rev. Stephen “Clyde” Davis

Many years ago I was a neophyte member of a similarly freshly-formed men’s group. I was struggling to find meaning and purpose and hoping to stumble on it alongside fellow seekers. At one point I found myself vigorously defending a member of the group whose communications I felt had been consistently attacked by other group members. I was full of righteous indignation as I wielded my verbal sword on his behalf. Suddenly, I realized the focus of the group had shifted to me – not a very comfortable awareness for me at that time.

Several members attempted to explain to me how I was projecting my discomfort onto the person I thought I was defending. And how, at the same time, that person was not owning his process. That threw me for a loop. I was unfamiliar with the concept of ownership and not inclined to admit I was projecting anything. In fact, I was so sure I was doing the right thing, I continued to energetically defend myself and my fellow group member for weeks, even going so far as calling the two most egregious members “Ownership Nazis,” as they continued their (as I saw it) assault.

I was taking this whole thing very personally and I remember feeling incredibly defensive and overwhelmed by this sudden “unfair” treatment and “bullying.” I was often near tears for not being able to see or appreciate this new perspective. I was also full of shame that I wasn’t even aware because I was so entrenched in such unconscious behavior.

And here these guys, these Ownership Nazis, were persevering in their efforts to make me “see the light” and “win me over…” Well, I was hardly going to open myself up to that sort of vulnerability – no way! As long as I could keep the focus on the other guy and his shortcomings, I would be safe…

I wouldn’t have to admit that my defense of him was really a defense of me.

Only after what seemed an interminable period of time did I begin to get a glimmer of understanding.

I was protecting myself by talking about someone else’s issues.

It was always easier to see someone else’s issues more clearly than my own. I was speaking globally about issues I held dear, and hiding behind terms such as “we,” “everyone,” “you,” “they,” “always,” and “never.” Somehow by using general terms and implying that my experience was universal, I was staying safe and less likely to be confronted or held accountable. I mean – how can anyone disagree with me if I am speaking the obvious and unassailable truth?!

It never occurred to me at that time that the only truly unassailable position, the only really true thing, was my own personal experience.

I couldn’t conceive of standing in my truth if it wasn’t everyone’s truth.

I was so terrified of saying anything that was true for me that wasn’t true for everyone else because I might be wrong. And holding a wrong position meant that I was wrong, which led to more shame.

It took years of diligent attention on my part to finally learn the value of speaking only for myself, to share my individual experience, to stop assuming that what was true for me was automatically true for everyone else. It was very challenging to begin to hear myself and see how often I defaulted to “groupspeak” and projection to keep the focus away from me.

Eventually I came to see that ownership was actually a path to freedom.

I am free when I assume responsibility for myself alone. What is true for me is only true for me – and may change tomorrow. No one can disagree with my truth because it is only my truth. As long as I own my experience and don’t force it on anyone else, as long as I allow you your experience, your truth, and affirm it as yours, I am free.

Taking on the responsibility to act independently of everyone around me, to speak only for myself, and to fully own my experience is what makes me free.

Ted Lothammer, the founding father of People House, said it best: “I am 100% responsible for me, you are 100% responsible for you, and the universe is responsible for everything else.”

Until next time,

Clyde

People House: a Center for Personal and Spiritual Growth