Posts tagged ‘Rev. Stephen “Clyde” Davis’

Toilet Training for My Inner Child: Introduction (And True Facts) – Rev. Stephen “Clyde” Davis

Nothing has been more on my mind in the last six months than exactly how I was going to begin this – my first blog. And nothing has demonstrated more clearly so many of my weaknesses.

I have struggled with doubt: Do I have anything of value to say? Can I adequately express whatever I feel strongly about? Are my beliefs and perspectives of any interest to anyone but me?

I have struggled with fear: Will I represent People House poorly? Will I show myself to be as boring, ill-informed and/or pedantic as many of my “inner committee” voices avow? Can I really pull this off?

I have struggled with inadequacy: I don’t have the credentials needed to speak with any authority. How can a life-long blue-collar worker with “some college” have anything interesting to say? Who do I think I am?

I have struggled with procrastination: Naaah – I’ve got lots of time before I have to produce anything concrete… I do my best work at the last minute… Just how long can I put off actually writing anything?

Interestingly, I noticed that my thoughts mostly ran to reasons for my potential failure in trying something new. I rarely found myself coming up with support for this experience being successful and rewarding. In fact, only when talking with friends and relatives did I hear positive comments about this opportunity. Hmmm. This “gave me furiously to think.”

I recognized I had been struggling with staying present.

All the above represent what happens inside me when I look to the future instead of staying present. In this moment, I have no fear, no misgivings, no doubt. And so this blog will be a continual exercise in being present, being open and honest about what is happening for me and what my experience of living is like.

As one way of beginning, let me give you a brief glimpse of some of the ways in which I show up in the world:

I was born in 1952. I have one younger brother. I have been successfully married for 38 years and am the father of two sons – one married with a daughter and a son. My father died several years ago and my mother is 89 and resides in an assisted living facility in upstate New York. This may all sound perfectly normal until I tell you that my father’s sister married my mother’s brother and both my grandmothers lived for many years after their husbands’ deaths with two unmarried daughters, two of whom had psychotic episodes… But I digress.

I also identify myself (less factually) as a personable/isolated, insightful/insipid, intellectual/playful, gracious/grating, quiet/clamorous, wise/glib, listening/storytelling perpetrator/victim. I also have years of experience in psychotherapy as both facilitator and patient. In short, I easily relate to paradox and understand impasse. There are good reasons I call myself a Minister of Uncertainty – I refuse to fit in any predetermined category.

I am truly looking forward to this adventure.

And along the way, just call me,

Clyde

People House: a Center for Personal and Spiritual Growth