Posts tagged ‘Alignment’

GROWING PAINS: Towards Certainty – Lydia Taft

I am sitting here wanting for something… is this fluttery discomfort I feel excitement?  Is this feeling of unease expectation about what’s around the corner?  Or is this slight discomfort simply an emptiness I wish to fill?  I’m not fully certain; I only know something is a bit off.  And I’d rather not sit in this space for much longer.  It’s time to do some energy work.  It’s time to find alignment.

So I take a breath and settle into myself.  I search out my emotional climate.  “What am I feeling now?” I ask.  I feel complete, and soft, and full, and steady.  I really feel okay.  There is emptiness there.  There is no hunger there.  I must be expecting, I think. And then I realize it is a feeling of expectation without the knowing.  And there lies the discomfort. 

I ask myself, what do I know? What am I sure of? 

I am sure I am loved.  I am sure I am on my path.  I am sure the path is unfolding.  I am sure the sun will set tonight and rise tomorrow.  I am sure of my cats and what it feels like to pet them, and watch them.  I am sure of how they purr and take pleasure in making any spot they lay the most comfortable place in existence.  I am sure of what it feels like to look at them and feel love for them.

I am sure of my grand-daughter’s love.  Right there, that thought alone, floods me with warmth and fullness.  And that feeling is so large I bask in it for a bit and allow myself to just float on its truth.  And now I am able to appreciate all the other little things that appeal to me, and I am flooded with many ideas of more simple life pleasures that inspire joy.

I am sure of how beautiful the blue open sky and warm breeze are.  I am sure of the joy I feel when watching puppies play.  I am sure of the freedom I feel when taking a walk.  I am sure of the love I feel when hugging my husband.  I am sure of the joy of wearing new shoes.  I am sure of being here now.  My list can go on and on I realize, because there are so many more things I feel comfort in thinking about; there are so many more things I know I am certain of.

I am sure, and I am certain, of this warm feeling in my heart right now. 

And that feeling of relief is right above all things. 

GROWING PAINS: This Choice Is My Own – Lydia Taft

I was having a perfectly peaceful morning after three days away from work.  It was a lovely day, filled with potential and opportunity, and I was considering how I might further enjoy it.  I decided I would study my emotional climate and gauge where I stood in the moment. This study led me to realize that I was on my fourth day of total peace and, as much as I hated to admit it, I felt somewhat dull.  I wondered in that moment… What more might life offer me to make things more exciting?

Within seconds of that thought, I received a phone call from my daughter.   As always, I asked for more and the universe answered.  My daughter was on the phone to inspire me towards more.  So I took my practiced breath and answered her call.  It turned out that I was given yet another opportunity to be afraid and worried for her.  She was stressed and afraid, and, not surprisingly, I jumped right on board her fear train rather quickly.  As I listened I felt frustration and fear, and then helplessness and anger, grow within me. 

Great!  I sit here now and think, “Way to go Lydia.  Way to practice alignment!”  Okay… in this moment I will put all judgment aside for myself and my daughter.  I’m not going to get lost in one sad story on top of another.  What I am going to do is figure out how to not sit in this fearful place for much longer.

So here I am with headphones on, and beautiful meditative music soothing the stress that I have allowed to fill my body.  I realize I have to sort through my thoughts and tap into what I profess is my truth.  What do I know, I ask myself? 

I know I am more than this fear feeling.   I am something greater than fear.  

I realize that I have been more in many instances and I remain capable of being in a state of joy and peace.   I realize that I often feel much more clarity than this.  In this moment, as I am writing this experience out, I absolutely know that I will eventually work my way through and out of what feels painful.  Feelings always pass.

As I calm and soothe myself, it becomes very clear to me that I asked for growth and I received exactly what I desired.  It came in a three minute conversation.  I jumped into a fear state.  My fear, although familiar, allowed me to desire something better for my daughter and myself.  My highest self expanded to that desire and I had to catch up.

That’s all this is, I remind myself.  This experience, like so many others, is exactly right.  My daughter is clarifying her life and expanding towards her greatest self, and so am I.  We are both on our right paths.  Our paths are unfolding.  I can choose to feel a bit better or a bit worse.  

This choice is my own. 

People House: a Center for Personal and Spiritual Growth