Determined to Feel Good – Lydia Taft

I’m noticing right now that I am just a bit unsettled.  I won’t try and focus too much on why. It’s simply a feeling that is running its course.  I am inspired to take a deep breath and settle into myself.  And as I settle myself, I try to feel the environment around me.  What does this place feel like right now?  I only feel agitation right now.  Does it belong to me or the environment?  I decide that doesn’t matter.  All that matters is that I would prefer to feel peaceful. 

The other day I was reading about checking into the feeling of the environment. 

It’s a practice that can help us connect to the emotional climate of a place and as we do this we are helped to become more aware and in tune with our senses.  We are after all receivers and interpreters of energy.  It’s very easy: we tune into either feeling good or feeling bad.  Earlier I tuned into restlessness and dis-ease.  That’s not a healthy place to sit in and I felt very uncomfortable.

But, I have the ability to manipulate my attention and I realize I am getting a bit better at choosing.  It’s a matter of focus and it takes a willingness to become aware of the climate I am sitting in and a willingness to not become affected by whatever happens to be in front of me.  I played with this idea the other day as I practiced watching my emotions flit around.  As they dipped and swooped, I became aware of their connection to my attention of particular subjects.


Look over there and be happy.  Look over there and feel upset.  I was swayed by the environment.  I was influenced by the conditions around me. 

I was being spun around and dragged up and down an emotional roller coaster.  This is what most of us do all day.  No wonder we are often exhausted. 

I am ready to experience something different.  I am ready to be more deliberate about how I feel. 

I’ve practiced meditation, so I know that feeling good is a single breath away.  I’ve trained myself to be still.  I also know that feeling good is a choice that belongs to me, no matter what is going on around me or where I happen to be.  Feeling good comes from the inside.  I can tune into it in any moment and in any place.  I am the receiver of my emotional climate and I get to set the dial to the station that feels best to me. 

Another few deep breathes later and I am back to center.  I am soothed and peaceful.

Right now I am determined to feel good. 

People House: a Center for Personal and Spiritual Growth