5 Keys on How to Manage Painful Thoughts or Memories ll By Brenda Bomgardner

5 Keys on How to Manage Painful Thoughts or Memories
Brenda Bomgardner

If you’re like many people dealing with painful thoughts or memories, you may try to go about your daily routine but they keep butting in.

The haunting thoughts frequently make it hard to concentrate on your work or to even enjoy a relaxing night at home with the family.

Some people try to wish them away, hoping to forget about the pain once and for all. Of course, many people find this temporary reprieve through drugs, alcohol, or other negative ways.

However, utilizing mindfulness skills can help with managing these thoughts and memories, and to resolve your pain better than any vice.

Consider these five important key points.

1. Accept That You Have These Thoughts or Memories

The first step in a mindfulness practice towards managing painful thoughts or memories is to accept that they are there.

You can’t run away from them, nor can you dull them with substances or usher them away using distractions. As you may have already realized, they find their way back.

Yet, accepting that these thoughts and memories exist can help to resolve the pain associated with them.

Furthermore, with acceptance comes openness and peace. You are no longer expending the mental energy to fight back those thoughts.

Granted, acceptance does require courage—the courage to accept that they exist and are not suddenly going to conveniently vanish.

2. Be Willing to Face Your Memories

Once you have accepted that your thoughts or memories exist, be willing to face them. Much like the first step, this also requires some degree of courage. Still, it’s not as impossible as it may have seemed in the past.

Keep in mind that facing every negative thought or memory all at once could be a bit overwhelming. It helps to start small and tackle them in stride.

For example, focus on one memory for starters. Remember, facing your memories does not mean fighting them. Rather, it’s a process of coming to terms with these thoughts and resolving your pain.

3. Let Go of Attachment

Next, begin the process of letting go of your attachment to those memories.

Attachment implies that you find some importance or connectedness to the thought or memory. This is true even if they are painful and cause you a lot of emotional pain.

By detaching, you are separating yourself from the memory. This allows you to look at the thought or memory more objectively. Then, you can let it go and allow it to drift away.

One example of doing this is the “Leaves on the Stream” exercise. Quite simply, you imagine a stream with leaves. Each leaf represents a memory. You can observe the stream carrying those memories away down the stream.

5. Forgive Yourself

Often, when you hold onto painful memories or thoughts it’s because of feelings associated with guilt or shame. As a result, reliving the memory acts as a form of self-punishment.

For example, someone who experienced trauma related to war may “torture” themselves by asking “why did I survive?” They feel guilty that they lived but their comrades did not.

A key to managing painful thoughts and memories includes the decision to forgive yourself for what happened.

Tormenting yourself won’t change things or alter the past. However, forgiveness does let you move forward and embrace the life you have now.

Everyone has memories or thoughts that they’d rather forget. Yet, for some, these thoughts and memories cause so much mental anguish that it’s debilitating.

If this is you, consider trying these five keys to managing painful thoughts or memories.

However, if you are still struggling, recruit the support of a friend, a trusted family member, clergy, or other trained professional.


To learn more about Brenda visit her About Me page,   https://brendabomgardner.com/brenda-bomgardner/

However, if you’re still having trouble, don’t hesitate to get professional help from a therapist who understands trauma therapy. Please, contact me today to learn more about how I can help you.

People House: a Center for Personal and Spiritual Growth